


Skip To The End

by anastasiapullingteeth



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Rating changed due to Wade's language and adult conversations between superheroes, Roommates, Slow Burn, Superheroes, TV Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastasiapullingteeth/pseuds/anastasiapullingteeth
Summary: Peter and Wade move in together after Peter loses his apartment. They are forced to act like a couple to get the place, but when the lie reaches the ears of the other superheroes, Tony confesses he and Steve only allow Wade to be part of the team because he's "dating" Peter. The friends decide to keep up the lie not only in front of their unsuspected landlady, but also before the eyes of the elder superheroes.What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Rooftops

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever watched _Spaced_ (with Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes)? Because you should.

Peter sat on the edge of the rooftop with his mask off, scrolling down his battered phone as he chewed on the tip of his gloved finger. He was starting to get desperate, it was his third week without a home and, even though Sue insisted he could stay with her and Reed as long as he needed, he just knew he was already abusing of their generosity. Apartment hunting was a bummer, he hated it so much, but he hated even more interrupting his friends’ lives and routine. If only rent in New York wasn't so high! How did they expect him to pay that much?

“Whatcha doing, Spidey?” he heard behind him, followed by the grunt of someone trying to climb on the rooftop.

“Apartment hunting,” he answered, not looking up when Deadpool sat next to him.

“Yikes.”

The word sounded much more pained than it should —no matter how much Peter hated what he was doing—, and that did make him lift his head to stare at his companion. Deadpool was holding his right arm, apparently broken, firmly against his side with his good hand; his suit was shattered in a few spots, and he was bleeding from at least three different body parts, including the head. Peter glanced down at his phone again.

“What happened to you?” he asked, pulling out a granola bar from the backpack resting next to him, and throwing it towards Wade’s lap.

Wade lifted up his mask and opened the wrapper using his teeth and the hand that wasn't broken, while the other hung lifeless at his side. He then proceeded to take almost a half of the bar into his mouth in a single bite; Peter knew how hungry he got when he was healing or regenerating body parts, so he didn't mind giving him his dinner. Besides, Deadpool had fed him real food more times than he could remember, it was only fair.

“Some asshole blew up my last safe house,” Deadpool said at least, stuffing the other half of the granola bar into his mouth, not bothering with the little crumbs landing on his lap. “And it wouldn't have mattered, really, but I was about to go inside and that motherfucker didn't even let me get my ammo back! Had to fight him, of course. I had some good shit in there, that bitch.”

“When you said you fought him…” Peter trailed off, tucking his phone back inside his secret pocket.

“I didn't unalive him!” Deadpool gasped dramatically, although the effect was lost since the hand he lifted to his chest was barely attached to his shoulder and not entirely functional. “We had a serious talk about his behavior and I sent him home after he promised he wouldn't do it again,” he added petulantly.

“You maimed him, didn't you?”

“Yep. An arm for an arm.”

Peter sighed, pulling his phone out again. He didn't approve of Deadpool’s behavior, but he'd stopped killing a few months ago and that was something. Peter only wished he wasn't around when Tony yelled at Wade for leaving a bleeding man on the streets, because then Peter would have to remind him that Deadpool was doing better and they surely would end up arguing; he had enough problems as it was, he didn't need to add an angry superhero to his combo.

“Why ya looking for an apartment, kid? What happened to your Spidey-cave?” Deadpool asked, peeking at Peter’s phone from above his shoulder.

“I, uh, I was kind of staying at a… friend's house.”

“And he kicked you out? Why?” Deadpool sounded quite alarmed by that thought, as if he couldn't fathom the idea of someone hating Peter. Not that Felicia hated him, she just...

Peter didn't want to talk about that. Then he'd have to tell Wade _everything_ and that just couldn't happen, could it? He hadn't told anyone about Felicia, not even Johnny, he wasn't going to tell Deadpool of all people! Although, now that he thought about it, maybe that was the reason she’d disposed of him so easily… Maybe he should have made it a formal thing... Introduce her to Aunt May, celebrate their anniversary and all that jazz... Well, too late now. Not worth thinking about that.

Something must have shown on his face, because Deadpool gasped again and pointed at him with an accusatory finger. “It was a chick, wasn't it?! You had a girlfriend and you didn't tell me!” he yelled, slapping Peter's arm without real intention. “And here I am, dolling myself up for you night after night! No wonder you never said anything about my dress! I'm hurt.”

Peter snorted and shook his head at Wade’s exaggerated complaints, but otherwise didn't deny any of what he'd said. Deadpool sensed it, and his mood changed dramatically, becoming serious all of a sudden. “You did have a girl, didn't you?”

“Not really,” Peter admitted, looking down at the city under his feet to try to hide his blush. “We weren't dating, we were…”

“Friends with benefits?” Peter's blush intensified and this time he actually looked away. “Holy shit. Who was she?”

“Uhm…” Oh, damn. He'd have to tell him, wouldn't he? Shit, shit, shit. “Uh… you don't know her. She goes by Blackcat and-”

“The thief? _That_ Blackcat?” Wade asked and Peter's stomach sunk.

“What?”

“Blackcat. Real name Felicia Hardy. Famous thief. Awesomely hot chick.”

Fuck, why did Wade knew Balckcat’s secret identity?! “How do you-”

“We ran kind of the same business for a time,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “She doesn't kill, but I've crossed paths with her more than once. I've heard stories,” he added and the eyes of his mask widened comically; Peter didn't want to know what stories he'd heard.

“... Crap.”

“So, what happen? What did you do to make the kitty bite you?”

Peter had met Felicia long time ago, once when he ran into her alter ego, Blackcat. She was a thief on the run out of a crime scene, and Peter had only done his job by stopping her. The sensitive thing to do next was to take her to the police, but she… she was distracting, to say the least, and Peter had ended up releasing her. They crossed paths again a few times in the next year's, always the same shtick: She would rob something and Peter would stop her, only to set her free right after. They had started having sex nine months ago.

It was weird that he was keeping track of their… arrangement. They had agreed at the beginning that they were only having fun, only keeping each other company when the urge arose, so Peter wasn't supposed to remember the first time they had hooked up. But he did. He had convinced Felicia to give up her soiled business and work with him patrolling the streets; two months later, he was on her bed, maskless, and making promises neither of them could keep. He'd gotten involved with her from there, until three weeks ago when they had had a big fight over something stupid Peter couldn't even remember.

And it wasn't like he and Felicia _lived_ together, really. It was more like two months ago Peter had been late to renew his contract and Felicia had convinced him to just not do it. “You're barely in there anyway,” she'd said as they kissed behind an air duct on one of Peter's favorite rooftops. “You're always out climbing buildings and saving the world, or whatever it is what you do all day. And I have room in my apartment for your stuff. Just get out of there and be done with it.” So Peter didn't live with Felicia, his stuff did; Peter only went to visit every day and spent the night there for good measure. And now, suddenly, Felicia had no more space for ~~Peter~~ his things. She kicked him out in the most courteous way possible, affirming he could leave his things there while he found a place to stay; he hadn't heard from her since.

“And you left your stuff at a thief’s house in the meantime? Not your smartest, Webs.”

“Dude, I already told you: she's not a thief anymore. And that's not even the point! The point is that she…”

“Broke up with you. Yeah, yeah. I know,” he added when Peter opened his mouth to protests. “You weren't dating. You just were sexually and emotionally invested in a relationship of almost a year with a woman you planned to spend the rest of your life with. Yeah, not dating.”

Peter rolled his eyes and lay down with his back on the floor. “Whatever… Now I have to find a place to stay because my old landlord wasn't so happy with me just getting the fuck out.”

Wade snorted, laying next to him. “So out of character, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

“Yeah, I was an asshole…”

“Yep, kinda,” Deadpool said, earning a glare from the other man. “But look at the bright side. Now your ass hole is single and that means you have more time for me!” Wade yelled, ignoring Peter's grimace.

“And how is that better?”

“Now we can finally watch _One Day at a Time_! You promised, remember? I've been postponing it for you, man.”

“Sorry, DP,” Peter apologized honestly. “But that'll have to wait,” he added, sitting back up and scrolling down his phone again. “I'm still doing the apartment hunting.”

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes… Well, _Peter_ stayed in silence, Deadpool was talking non-stop about one of his missions, still lying on the floor with his arms behind his head and a leg propped over his bent knee, moving his foot back and forth. Peter wasn't really listening to a word the merc was saying, but the other didn't seem to mind and even added a few random questions in a weird voice, trying to fill up for Peter's silence. The younger man wasn't sure how much time they stayed like that until he found an ad that adjusted so perfectly to his needs he almost felt like crying of happiness: it was in Queens, furnished, and close enough to aunt May to visit her more often. He expressed his joy very vocally, startling Deadpool next to him.

“What the fuck?” he asked, sitting up to stare at Peter.

“I found a place!” he said excitedly, handing the phone over to Wade. “The rent’s a little higher of what I was expecting, but with a few adjustment I'm sure I can manage.”

“Too bad it says ‘couples only’,” Deadpool pointed out, showing Peter the end of the advert.

“What?” He snatched the phone back and read the line Deadpool had pointed out. It did say the apartment was for childless couples only, probably as means to keep students, insufferable bachelors, and loud kids out of the building. Peter whined, hiding his face behind his hands. “It was too good to be true.”

“You can always pretend, you know?” Deadpool said, carelessly. Peter grunted to signal him he was listening, but wasn't entirely convinced it was a good idea. “I mean, do you have any friend that's single and desperate to get their own apartment? How about the Match Man or whatever he's called? I don't think the landlady cares you're gay as long as you pay on time and keep the sex quiet.”

“Human Torch,” Peter corrected, uncovering his face. “And I'm already staying at the Baxter Building. I promised it'd be temporary.”

“Pffft, you seriously need more friends.”

Peter nodded to himself, but stopped mid motion when a sudden thought crossed his mind. He turned to look at Wade, clearing his throat. “Well, I do have a friend that's single and desperate,” Peter said, looking pointedly at Wade.

“Kate doesn't count. She's staying at Clint’s by choice.”

“I didn't mean her. I meant someone whose safe house has just been blown up.”

“... You gotta be kidding me.”

 

***

 

“This is a terrible idea, Pete. A terrible idea. And that's coming from the guy that once peeked inside one of his Desert Eagles’ barrel to see why it wasn't working,” Wade said on the phone, looking at both sides of the street, unsure of the way the other man was supposed to come from.

“It's going to be fine,” Peter assured for what it felt like the hundred time. “We just need to look couple-y enough to convince her during the interview. After that we will be back to our usual selves.”

“She's gonna look at my face and think ‘There's no way this hottie is screwing an uncooked meatball like that’,” Wade continued complaining, talking in a high pitched voice to mimic the one of the old lady that would receive them in about an hour.

Peter had contacted the landlady the morning after their conversation on the rooftop and she had set the date of the interview for the next day. They had had time to spare, but hadn't really set up a plan about how to approach the situation in order to look like long time lovers, so Peter had proposed they met at a coffee shop nearby an hour prior to their interview to get everything ready. Wade had showed up twenty minutes earlier, paranoid of being late and spoil the whole plan, even though he was convinced the old woman wouldn't buy the lie even if they had a lifetime to plan it out. Peter was sure this was going to work, though, and the cheerful smile had finally made a comeback to those kissable lips after weeks of absence, so of course Wade couldn't say no.

“Your face is fine, stop worrying about it. Where are you? I can't see you anywhere.”

Wade looked up again, trying to spot Peter between the sea of people. He was about to tell him to lift a hand or something when he saw him. He was pretty sure he gasped a curse into the phone still pressed against his ear, unable to believe what was in front of him: Peter was walking down the street, smiling at Wade, and wearing a bright red blazer over a blue button-up shirt, complemented with jeans and Converse. He had his glasses on and Wade, who didn't even know the guy _needed_ them, thought it was unfair a 27 year old nerd could wear such ridiculous combination and look smexy either way. It was spring, for fucks sake, and even though it'd been raining for the past week, Peter had no right to look that fresh in those clothes.

The other man stopped in front of him, looking him up and down with a faint smile as he tuck his phone in his pocket. It was the first time they saw each other in civies and Wade felt immediately self-aware of his worn out clothes: an oversized hoodie and ripped out jeans he was very fond of because they didn't hurt his skin, and only took off when he was wearing his suit. He was still pressing the phone against his ear and jumped slightly when Peter took it from him and handed it over, finally lifting his eyes to Wade’s face.

“Wow,” Peter said, making a sound that Wade wasn't sure how to interpret. “So this is how you look like out of your suit.” Well, fuck. Wade should had gone for the big, red condom instead; he and his stupid delusions of looking like a ‘normal’ guy. “This is… wow. I'm impressed.”

Wade frowned. “Are you high?”

“No,” Peter laughed. “But seriously, though. I really appreciate you didn't bring the mask. I… I know is hard for you, so thank you. It means so much to me.” Wade nodded awkwardly, still dumbstruck by Peter’s words and look, and pointed at the coffee shop. “Yes!” Peter said excitedly, clapping his hands with decision. “Let's do the thing.”

Wade let Peter lead the way to both avoid opening and holding the door for him like a smitten idiot, and to allow him to choose his favorite table. He had no idea if Peter prefered the front or the back, if he liked the buzz or the silence. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know much about the guy he was going to pretend to be dating… They were screwed! There was no way the old woman would believe them.

But because he was a big loser, he followed Peter to the back of the establishment after they placed their order and sat down across from him, twisting his fingers inside the front pocket of his hoodie as he did his best to ignore the people around them that would be certainly staring at his skin. Peter took out a small notepad and a pen, and smiled up at Wade, who couldn't help but snort at the other's dorkiness. “Fire up, sweetums. I'm all ears.”

“Okay,” Peter uncapped the pen. “First thing first: why do we want to move there?”

They spent a considerable amount of time coming up with answers to possible questions the woman could ask them during the interview. From how they had met (work, not necessarily a lie), to their families, and the side of the bed each of them slept on (Peter right, Wade left. Also surprisingly not a lie...). Wade thought most of these questions were unnecessary, but he let Peter do as he wished; if this was going to blow out in their faces, he wasn't going to take the blame for it. The hard part came when Peter asked for how long had they been together and Wade had to drink from his mug to hide the blush creeping up his cheeks, an involuntary reaction to thinking about Peter and the word ‘dating’ so close together in a sentence.

“I think we should establish something simple for that one. Something that makes it easier to remember if we get caught on the spot,” Peter suggested and Wade watched him bit the cap of the pen for a few seconds before hazel eyes focused back on him. “How long have we been friend?”

“Two days?” Wade said, making it sound like a joke even though it _wasn't_.

“Very funny,” Peter replied, glaring at him. “Almost two years, right? When I took off the mask in front of you for the first time, remember?” he added in a whisper, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

Wade swallowed hard. “One year, seven months, two weeks, and four days…” he whispered back, biting his lip. Did Peter really consider them friends since then?

“Don't make fun of me,” Peter scolded, half smiling. “Although that makes it sound like we've been counting, we should probably stick to that.”

But Wade had been counting, he only didn't consider himself Peter's friend until two nights ago when he had called him one. He remembered having pulled Peter's body out from under a bulk of concrete during a mission with the Ass-Team, thinking he was dead. But the kid had taken a deep breath right away and laughed, patting Wade’s arm as a thank you. Later on, when they were sitting on a rock watching the rest of the team talking to S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, Spidey had taken off his mask and introduced himself as Peter Parker; they had hung out regularly after that, but Wade didn't think… Friends? Really?

Peter tapped the pen against his lips, unaware of Wade’s internal panic, and shook his head. “Nah, it's too long. Let's just say it's been a year and seven months, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Well, I think we have it all covered.” He looked up at the clock behind the counter. “And it's almost time to meet Mrs. Porter. Shall we?”

The building was four blocks away from the coffee shop, so they decided to walk all the way there to practice what they were going to say. Wade had never been in one of these things; he usually just went to the shadiest parts of the city, shove a few dollars to the landlord, and storm up to the room they barely had time to babble the number of. He didn't know such things even existed, but trusted Peter to know what to do, so he wasn't worried. Okay, that was a lie. He was _distraught_ , but it was too late to back out now, so he had to follow through till the painful end.

Peter was going over the notepad as they walked, saying the things they needed to remember out loud for Wade to hear. When they reached their destination, the younger man took a deep breath, facing Wade as best as he could despite their height difference. “Ready?”

“Baby boy, I have been ready for years!”

“Okay, let's go.” Peter knocked on the door.

The landlady seemed to be a nice woman. She led them to the apartment in question, showed them around, and barely batted an eye when Peter said Wade was his partner. Wade, on the other hand, almost fainted right there. She made them sit at the living room and offered a cup of coffee neither of them accepted. She proceeded to sit across from them with a fancy notebook in her hands.

“So you're both dating,” the woman, whose name Wade couldn't remember, asked, looking at them with hard eyes.

“Ye- yeah. We are,” Peter answered, suddenly taking Wade’s hand between his own. Wade made a distressed sound at the back of his throat at the thought of Peter touching his bare hand, but smiled to the woman, trying to look madly in love and not like he was two seconds from bursting out of the room.

The lady nodded, scribbling something on the notebook. “How long have you been together?”

“One year and seven months,” they said at the same time, catching the woman's eyes as she cocked an eyebrow.

“I see… And what do you both do for a living?”

Shit. They hadn't thought about that one.

“I, uhm, I work at the _Daily Bugle_ and do occasional researches for Stark Industries.” That wasn't a lie, Wade knew. Peter had a cover, but him… “And Wade, eh, he's…”

_A mercenary._

“Pest control,” he blurted out, without thinking. Peter looked up at him, surprise written on his face, but the landlady didn't seem to notice. “Yeah. Rats, cockroaches, that sort of stuff, I take care of them.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” the woman said and Wade felt Peter's hand tightening around his. “That's how you met?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied, looking up at Wade instead of the old lady. “I was having a rat problem and Wade… he came to help,” the younger man smiled, probably thinking about how they had actually met once Wade had assisted Peter after a bank robbery.

“Well, that'd be all. When can you move in?”

“Eh?”

“The apartment is ready. You can bring your stuff this same afternoon if you want.”

They exchanged an incredulous look.

Yeah, this was a terrible, terrible idea.


	2. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade go through their first month living together. It goes fairly well, until Johnny Storm decides to poke his nose in matters that do not concern him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. Em. Gee. I can't believe so many people have subscribed to this story! Thanks for your comments, kudos, and hits! You're all incredible, thank you.

Wade moved his things inside the apartment that same afternoon. He didn't have much —he'd lost most of his possessions when his safe house was blown up—, and what he had managed to save, fit perfectly fine in two duffel bags he hadn't unpacked after his last mission: some clothes, two spare suits, a few guns, and one or two magazines for those lonely nights when his phone couldn't access the world wide web. Peter, on the other hand, had way more stuff to carry to the new place.

After they left the building, he'd excused himself saying he was going to see Felicia and pick up his things from the woman's apartment. Wade had offered to help, but Peter had declined saying it was better if he went alone. Wade tried not to think too much about all the possible things Blackcat could say to hurt the webhead, or worse, to convince him to give her another chance. So he opted for spending the rest of the day unpacking his things to distract his mind; the minute it took him to move the things from the duffel bags to the floor of his bedroom passed quickly and he found himself alone and bored again, waiting for Peter. A knock on the door distracted him when he was considering shooting himself just to spice up his afternoon.

“Yeah, hold on,” he yelled, scrambling to his feet. In that moment, the door flung open, forcing him to stop mid motion when Peter walked in, carrying a box with him.

Behind Peter, a tall man with blond hair entered the apartment, holding a box under each arm. “Wade, are you here?” Peter called, stopping a few steps inside when his eyes caught up on him. “Hey.” The blond guy stopped next to him, looking at Peter, then at Wade, and then back at Peter. Wade was sure he hadn't imagined the hint of recognition the blondie had in his eyes when he saw Wade, although he had no idea who the other was. “Sorry, didn't see you there,” Peter greeted, lowering the box to the floor. “Oh, by the way. This is Johnny,” he pointed at the other guy, who smiled, trying to wave a hand without letting go of the boxes.

“You can call me the Human Torch, I wouldn't blame you,” the guy introduced himself, smiling like the kind of man who knows he owns the world.

Oh, Johnny Storm.

The Johnny Storm of perfect, blond hair and immaculate skin. _That_ Johnny Storm.

Wade didn't like him.

“He's helping me with my stuff, there's still a few boxes in his car.”

“So he knows?” Wade asked, referring to Peter's not-ex-girlfriend, but found out soon enough he shouldn't have said a thing when Storm turned to look at Peter with a cocked eyebrow, and Spidey’s eyes widened in mild panic. Whoops.

“Know what?”

“Nothing. Could you give us a second? We'll be right back.” Peter hurried to say, gesturing for Wade to follow him into the bedroom. Wade obeyed, but winked mischievously at Johnny when he passed in front of him, just to show him who was the one sharing a place with Peter “bubble butt” Parker. Take that, failed Captain America doppelgänger.

“Close the door,” Peter ordered.

“Ooh, a quickie while your friend is in the other room? Kinky. This is how most of my fantasies begin. Order me more, baby boy!”

“Shut up, Wade! Listen,” Peter added, walking closer to the merc. “He doesn't know about Felicia. No one knows but you, so I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anybody. Please.”

“But he went with you to grab your things, didn't he? What did you tell him?”

Peter looked down at his feet, shrugging a shoulder. Wade didn't like where this was going. “He didn't go up so… I told him it was your old apartment and, since you'd invited me to live with you, we were moving to a bigger place.”

“What?!”

“I know, I know! I panicked. But, please, don't tell him the truth. Please?”

Oh, no. Not that face. That face was his kryptonite! … Did kryptonite existed in this universe? Whatever, Spidey's puppy eyes were definitely what would finally end him, that was for sure. Wade sighed deeply and nodded. “Sure.”

Peter smiled and made a move as if he were going to hug Wade, but the door opened and the wallcrawler stepped back in one jump. Johnny Storm stood at the door threshold, just staring at them; Wade was this close to rip off the head of that poor mimicry of Calcifer if he kept this cockblocking going. “Sorry, but I knocked and you didn't answer. Didn't mean to interrupt.”

“It's okay, Johnny. What's going on?” Peter asked, clearing his throat.

“I went downstairs to pick the last boxes and an old woman followed me up? She said she's the landlady so I let her in. She's in the living room right now.”

“Oh, no, no, no. No, shit,” Peter stammered, walking around the room. “Uhm, okay. Wade, can you go and talk to her? I need to tell Johnny something.”

No, he couldn't. Okay, he was going to do it, but only because maybe Peter would hug him this time. “All right…”

He entered the living room and had to physically stop himself from going back over his steps: their landlady was standing in the middle of the room, eyebrow cocked, and a half-smoked cigarette hanging from her mouth. Wade held his breath. “Oh, hi! What, uh, what can we do for you?”

“I came to see if you were adjusting to the apartment. Everything in order?” she asked, inviting herself in and looking around the living room.

“Yeah, everything's cool, great. So good.” Wade was still wearing his hoodie and he wondered if it was considered rude to pull the hood over his head. The woman hadn't mentioned his skin during the interview, but he'd seen the way her eyes had scanned his face when Peter had said they were together. And speaking of...

“I can't see Peter anywhere. May I ask where is your lovely boyfriend?”

“My…? Oh, yeah,” Wade said, pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie to cover more of his hands, trying to process the word ‘boyfriend’. “He’s here. He’s- Pete! Are you coming? Honey? He's coming. Coffee?” he said to the woman, suddenly remembering the manners he didn't have.

The old lady nodded and sat on the small table. Wade followed, grateful he didn’t have to confront this nosy harpy all by himself. He just hoped he didn't say something stupid in the time it took Peter to finish his little talk with Hot Torch, he didn’t want to lead the lady into thinking they were lying. Which they were, but she didn't need to know that. “I must say,” the woman commented, tapping off the ashes of his cigarette into a plate on the table, “I am very pleased to hear you work on pest control. I'm sure it'll come very handy in the future.” Wade nodded, and went into the small kitchen with wobbly legs, reaching for the coffee maker. “Is it a dangerous job?” she asked, speaking from above her shoulder.

“The what?”

“Pest control. Is it a dangerous job? You seem a little… Your skin. I couldn't help but notice.”

Wade opened and closed his mouth, not sure what he was supposed to say. “There was a fire,” Peter answered for him, walking into the room with Storm close behind. “I'm sure you understand it's a sensitive subject, we’d rather not to talk about it.”

The old lady's face turned completely red under Peter's disapproving eyes. He was making it clear she wasn't allowed to ask any more questions and, as someone who had been the receiver of that look many times before, Wade knew how harsh the young man could be without even speaking. “Oh course, of course. Sorry,” she apologized, standing up. “I'll leave you to it. You know where to find me if you need anything. See you around, boys.”

“... Hag,” Peter mumbled, closing the door behind her.

Wade couldn't help but laugh at that.

 

With that first obstacle sorted out, the upcoming weeks went mostly uneventful. Wade found it was surprisingly easy to live with Peter, mostly because they barely saw each other during the day: the young man was out almost all the time due to his two jobs, and Wade had to report to S.H.I.E.L.D. —for whom he had been working for some time now— every other day; they only spent time together in the apartment at night, but Peter got home late, tired as fuck, and ready to change into his super suit to go out and patrol the city.

Wade usually went with him, and it was easy to pretend they weren't living together when they both were wearing spandex; it was like nothing had happened and Wade preferred it that way. It was simpler and Wade didn't have to worry about impressing the other man… Not that he wanted to impress him, of course. But, despite all that, Wade couldn't help but feel weird around his roommate. He had no idea Peter had to work so hard when he wasn't Spider-Man.

It was a whole new discovery to see _Peter_ and not the masked vigilante; the Peter that woke up early after only two or so hours of sleep to finish a report for that dickhead of J. Jonah Jameson; the Peter that got excited to receive an email from Stark Industries, even if it meant he had more work ahead of him. And he always patrolled the city afterwards. Wade suggested a couple of times, half joking, he took a night off, but Peter only laughed as he put on the mask. After the first week, Wade began to cook for Peter; if he couldn't get him to rest, at least he would keep him well fed.

“What's this?” Peter asked, peeking inside the paper bag with his name as he drank from his mug.

Wade tensed on the couch where he was playing some video games. He'd hoped Peter would just take the damn bag and go without asking; of course he hadn't counted on Peter’s talkative nature. In any other circumstance, Wade would've loved hearing Peter talking almost as much as he did; right now, he wished the boy would just shut up. “Your lunch,” he grunted, wincing when the character on the screen drowned because he wasn't paying attention.

He heard the rustle of the paper bag behind him and his fingers tightened around the controller. “Oh,” Peter said. “Thank you! It smells delicious.” He squeezed Wade’s shoulder as he walked past him, approaching the door. “I gotta go, but see you tonight?” he asked, smiling sweetly from the half-open door.

“Yeah, sure.”

S.H.I.E.L.D. called Wade for a mission that same afternoon. He packed his things and left a note for Peter on the fridge. He was embarrassed to think how much time he'd spent trying to come up with a nice message for his roommate, but had ultimately wrote “new mission. I'll be back in a week, two tops” in a napkin he stuck to the fridge with a magnet, and left the the place. It was probably really shitty to leave Peter alone when they'd just moved in together, but orders were orders and he was sure Spidey would agree this was the best decision.

Two weeks later, as promised and after the most boring recon mission ever, he was walking up the stairs of the building and entering the apartment he now shared with Spider-Man, throwing his bag on the door and flopping down on the couch, ready to take a much needed nap.

“Wade?” Peter's voice called from the bedroom’s door. “Oh, you're back! And right on time, big guy.”

Wade opened his eyes. Peter was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, hair ruffled, and wearing pajamas even though Wade was sure it was way past midday in New York. He looked tired and Wade wondered if he'd been sleeping. “Hey, Spidey! Why the fancy clothes? Going somewhere without me, sweetcheeks?”

“Not right now, but what are your plans for tonight?” Peter answered seriously, taking a seat on the couch next to him.

Wade opened his mouth dramatically. “You asking me on a date, Parker? Didn't think you'd miss me that much. Couldn't wait to have my booty back at hands reach, didn't you, you little pervert?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Even if I wanted to take you on a date,” he said and Wade could feel his heart skipping a beat, “I'm afraid Johnny called dibs on you this morning.”

“The fuck?” Wade gasped, genuinely scared. Peter got up to take something from his bedroom and when he resumed his spot on the couch, he handed Wade his phone. Wade took it and had to read the text a couple of times to fully grasp its content, starting from the name at the top of the screen:

_**Johnny:** Parker. Need you at the Baxter Building. Tonight, 10 o'clock. F4 stuff. Bring Deadpool with you. And don't be late!_

“He sure knows how to establish a conversation, doesn't he?” Wade commented, still staring at the phone.

“He sent it this morning. I hope you have a clean suit.”

 

***

 

 _Fantastic Four stuff_ always meant they had to wear their suits. Always. So it was a real surprise when, an hour before the meeting, Johnny sent Peter a new text saying he'd forgotten to mention they had to show up in casual clothes. Neither Peter nor Wade had the slightest idea of what could possibly required them to wear civil clothing at the Baxter Building; Wade thought maybe they were going to sent them to an undercover mission, but since Johnny hadn't say they had to pack their suits, Peter doubt it. Either way, the text had been kind of short notice, so they both had to get ready in record time if they wanted to be there by 10 o'clock. They couldn't use Peter's webbing while dressing like normal citizens, so that meant they'd have to get in the subway, which was a 45-minute ride. They really had to hurry up.

Life had some kind of vendetta against Peter, though. How other way could he explain that, first, he couldn't find the shirt he was looking for and had to go with a black zip-up hoodie he didn't remember was that loose on him, and, second, that the entire population of Queens decided to ride the subway at the exact same time as them. They couldn't get in until the third train and only managed to because Wade took Peter's hand and forced their way inside, using his own body to clear the path for Peter. There was little to no space in the car, and Wade was clearly uncomfortable with having Peter's back firmly pressed against his chest, if his stiff muscles were something to go by; once the train stopped at their station and they were able to breathe again, Peter apologized properly, but Wade only shook his head as if it didn't matter.

They were late, obviously, but only for about twenty minutes. Peter thought it wasn't that bad: they probably had only missed one of Reed’s pep talks, which was good, because they weren't as important or spirit-lifting as Reed believed they were. They approached the front desk at the 30th floor, taking a deep breath under the receptionist cocked eyebrow, and Peter cleared his throat. “Peter Parker,” he panted. “We're here to see Mr. Reed-”

“Oh, yes,” the lady interrupted, as she typed on the screen in front of her. “Mr. Storm is waiting for you and your companion in the living quarters. The elevator to your right will take you there.”

“Mr. Storm she said? Wade asked once the elevator doors closed behind them. “I'm not taking orders from that flaming Wonder Bread, Spidey. Whatever this mission is, I'm not in,” he declared, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff, like a petulant kid.

The elevator doors opened before Peter could say anything, giving way to the familiar sight of the Fantastic Four’s living area, except… “I don't think we're here for a mission, Pool.”

They stepped out of the elevator and into a crowd that certainly wasn't there to save the world from the last alien invasion. There was a smoke machine by the entrance and loud music coming out of somewhere, while a multi-color disco ball was the only illumination in the room. Sue’s precious kitchen bar had been taken over by a frightening amount of bottles that undoubtedly were full of alcohol, and the table was packed with all sorts of junk food: they had been invited to a party. A beach ball flew to them and Peter's reflexes responded in time, allowing him to hit it before it collided with Wade’s nose; the mercenary was staring open-mouthed at the scene before them, eyes dancing frantically, trying to gather everything in a single look.

There were other superheroes in there, too, most of which Peter recognized easily without their super suits, but a few other Peter had no idea who they were. In between the crowd, Peter could see Rogue exchanging words with Cindy Moon, and Negasonic passing a drink to Laura Kinney, although Peter wasn't sure they were of legal age to drink. Wyatt was telling what it seemed to be an exciting story to a group Crystal and Kate Bishop were part of, and Colossus was trying to make Kurt get off a lamp while Jessica laughed close to them. And walking up to the newcomers, showing the smuggest smile Peter had ever seen in his life, was Johnny Storm.

“Fantastic Four stuff, uh?” Peter asked, walking the remaining steps between them to hug his friend.

“You wouldn't have come otherwise,” Johnny admitted, patting Peter's back. “Hey, Wade. Nice to see you again, buddy.”

Wade grunted and Peter saw with regret he was pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. The younger man glared at Johnny for a second before resuming his place next to Wade, standing close to show his support, but avoiding touching his friend in case he felt threatened by the action. Johnny didn't seemed to notice any of this, and if he did, he knew better not to comment on it.

“So come on in!” the blond urged them, gesturing at the room at large. “There's food and alcohol and- no, that's it for you two. Just food and alcohol. Everyone's excited to see you here, Deadpool.”

“I wonder why,” Wade mumbled, taking an entire bowl of Nacho Cheese Doritos and walking to the center of the room as he ate messily.

“What's the matter with your boyfriend?” Johnny asked, frowning as he and Peter saw him getting lost in the crowd.

Peter rolled his eyes, but didn't correct Johnny. He was more worried about Wade at the moment. “He's not so fond of surprises,” he said, following Wade’s steps and ignoring Johnny’s confused look.

By the time Peter found Wade, he had already been dragged into Wyatt’s conversation and was awkwardly standing empty-handed between Kate and Crystal. Kurt was walking around with a tray, giving drinks to whoever was in his way; he gave one to everyone in the group Peter was observing, and then one to Peter, promising he'll be back with more. Peter kept walking and, as soon as Crystal saw him approaching them, she moved aside, leaving a free spot next to Wade. Peter wasn't sure why she'd done that, but he didn't care; it was his chance to talk to Wade and he was going to take it.

“Hey,” he greeted, standing next to the merc. “You okay?”

“Eh?” Wade spoke loudly, trying to make himself heard over the music. Peter saw the problem and took Wade’s hand, pulling at it until the other man followed him. None of the other super said a word in protest.

“I asked you if you were okay,” he repeated when they stop close to a window, tightening his grip around Wade’s hand to prevent him from escaping. “You know you don't have to wear the hood, right?”

“No. Yeah, I know. It's just…” Wade trailed off, lowering his head, eyes focused on their joined hands.

“What?”

“Nothing. It's just… They don't usually invite me to these things. It's weird.”

Peter nodded, bending forward to see into Wade’s eyes. “We're already here. And so are some of your friends. Try to have fun and see what happens. And if you wanna go, we'll go.” Deadpool didn't respond and he seemed to be staring at... Peter's stomach? Peter looked down at himself, but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, apart from the fact that the hoodie had stretched or something and now was like two sizes bigger than he remembered it to be. “Wade?”

“That's mine,” Wade pointed out, without lifting his head.

“Sorry?”

“The hoodie. It's mine. See?” Wade said, hooking his finger inside a small hole in one of the front pockets. “I did that. It's mine,” he repeated.

“No, it's not,” Peter fought back because it wasn't. He'd taken it from the floor… right in front of Wade’s room. Fuck. “Oh.”

“No wonder it's so big on you, bug boy.” Wade wasn't even trying to hide his smirk as he saw Peter's blush, so of course Peter had to punch his shoulder. It wasn't a real punch, but Wade pretended to be pushed backwards by Peter's strength anyway; since they were still holding hands, Peter went along with him, laughing when they almost tripped over their steps.

“Better?” he asked and Wade nodded. “Okay, let's go back to the group. Kurt promised me more shots.”

"Isn't that hoodie a little big for you, Spider-Man?” Rogue asked, taking a sip of his beer and joining the small group at the same time as them. Kate, who had been really interested in what Wyatt was saying, frowned and looked Peter up and down, as if she had just noticed Peter's clothes. “What are you hiding under there?”

“Oh, yeah. Nothing. This is Wade’s, actually. We were in a rush earlier.”

Rogue raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Okay…” and with that, she turned around and left. Peter forgot about it easily: Kurt was coming back with a bottle in each hand.

 

Peter's head hurt. He didn't get drunk that easily after the spider bite that had given him his powers —which was a bummer, really. He'd been fifteen at the time and couldn't legally drink, so he had never actually gotten drunk as a normal human being—, but that didn't mean he couldn't get drunk; it only took an obscene amount of alcohol to get there, which Johnny had provided. The light streaming through his window was annoying, but nothing he couldn't handle: his healing powers were already working on his hangover and that was a good thing, otherwise the shriek coming from the other side of his door would have definitely split his head in two.

He walked out of his room, rubbing his face with a hand and checking the time on the clock hanging on the wall—2:13 p.m. He looked in the living room, searching for Wade, but didn't find him there. After a quick glance at the rest of the apartment, he finally knocked on Wade’s bedroom door. “Man, are you okay?” he asked, voice hoarse after last night's heartfelt and ridiculous singing.

The door flung open and a pair of scarred hands grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, dragging him inside the room. Wade pulled him through until they reached Wade’s messy desk, where he pushed Peter forward until he was eyes-level with an ancient laptop. There was an email displayed on the screen, but it was way too early for Peter's eyes to function properly without his glasses, and it would take him a while to fully adjust to what was in front of him. “Tell me you're seeing what I'm seeing,” Wade begged, desperately.

“If by that you mean a bunch of smudges, then yeah, that's what I see here.”

“Ugh, Parker!” Wade whined, letting go of Peter's shirt to stride out of the room. He came back in a second, shoving the glasses into Peter's hand. “Here. Read.”

Peter read the email carefully.

> _**From:** Steve Rogers_
> 
> _**To:** Deadpool_
> 
> _**Subject:** Avengers Unity Division_
> 
> _In sight of your outstanding work as an official member of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, as well as your recent collaboration with one of our members, Spider-Man, Avengers Team has taken the decision to offer you a temporary position within our new division, the Avengers Unity._
> 
> _In case of accepting, you will be sent to a test mission still to be confirmed, which, if approved, could guarantee a permanent place in our team._
> 
> _We would appreciate if you could send us your answer as soon as possible._
> 
> _All the best,_
> 
> _Steve Rogers_

“Holy shit…” Peter whispered, re reading the email to make sure his head wasn't playing games on him.

“What? What does it mean?” Wade asked, looking apprehensively between Peter and the laptop screen. “What is this?”

Peter turned to face Deadpool, taking off his glasses.

“They're making you a temporary Avenger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm playing with the canon here, so please ignore the fact that Tony isn't supposed to be in the Unity Division. Or that Peter quit after he discovered Wade was part of the team. Everything else is mostly-sort-of the same.


	3. Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets his first chance to fight alongside the Avengers and Peter is really proud of him. That’s it until Wade fucks up. And he fucks up _bad_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, this chapter was so hard to write and it ended up kinda long. **cw** for minor violence and mentions of child abuse.

After Wade sent his reply accepting Steve's invitation, they had to wait two long weeks before the super soldier contacted him again. The mercenary didn't talk about it, but Peter knew he was beyond nervous. Wade pretended he didn't care, saying the Avengers had probably forgotten about it, or that they'd come to the realisation that they just couldn't handle his assets and, hence, the radio silence, but Peter could see him fidgeting with his phone every now and then when they were out on patrol. He was also less assertive when fighting criminals, and it seemed the only thing capable of pulling him out of his own head was Peter's touch; Peter had to rest his hand on Wade’s shoulder before every conversation if he wanted the other to pay attention, and the action often came accompanied by a slight jump from Wade’s part.  
  
It was a big opportunity —he remembered the first time he got the chance to work with the elite group—, so Peter did his best to reassure Wade he deserved this opportunity. The real surprise came in on a Wednesday afternoon, when not only Wade received an email, but Peter did, too.  
  
“Pete! They assigned me a mission!” Wade called from the bathroom, holding his pants up with a hand as he ran into the hallway, waving the phone in front of Peter's face with the other.  
  
“They did? Why- why are your pants open?!” Peter yelled, covering his eyes with a hand.  
  
“I was in the bathroom. But look! They gave me a mission! They want me to show up at the Avengers Tower! Tomorrow! Look! Look!”  
  
“God, I hope you'd washed your hands,” Peter whined, taking the phone to confirm Wade’s words.  
  
It was like déjà vu: he'd read the exact same email barely a minute ago from the screen of his own work phone. They were indeed required to attend the first meeting of the Avengers Unity Division, which meant Peter was most likely also part of that team. Either that or they wanted him to be some kind of mentor for whoever they had recruited apart from Wade, but he doubted it; Steve and Tony hadn't gotten out of that overprotective phase yet, they even called him kid still, so his hopes flew out of the window in an instant. Wade was still waiting for Peter's reaction, so he informed his roommate of his suspicion. “It seems we're going to be partners. Cool, isn't it?”  
  
  
  
Peter would never say this aloud, but he didn't like the Avengers Tower that much, at least not anymore. There was something about the building that just didn't sit well with him, and walking into Tony’s office suited up but holding his mask in his hands only exacerbated the feeling. Wade, on the other had, looked like an over-excited kid that had just gotten inside a toy store. Peter knew for a fact it wasn't the first time the mercenary was in there, but it was the first time he'd been _invited_. No more hiding in the shadows, no more broken windows; just him and an authorised pass to cross the main door without a gun against his head. Peter was really proud of him.  
  
Tony… Well, he seemed like he was still trying to convince himself that Steve had made the right decision, if the sour expression on his face was something to go by.  
  
“You're late,” were the first words he spoke to them as they entered the office. There were other six people already sitting at the table that Peter wasn't expecting to see there, except for Steve, who was at the front, reading a file: Johnny, in the first chair and waving excitedly at Peter and Wade; Rogue, adjusting her gloves as she looked around with disinterest; Crystal, reading a file of her own; Nightcrawler, nervous and wary; and Kate Bishop, who winked at Peter and pointed at the two chairs next to her.  
  
They took their assigned seats under the gaze of everyone present, and waited for Steve to take the floor. The super soldier smiled at them, and rose from his own seat. “Good morning, everyone. Thank you all for coming. In doing so, you're now the new members of the Avengers Unity Squad.”  
  
The squad, according to Steve, was a new sub-team the Avengers had created in hopes of unifying mutants and humans after the devastating war. It was made up of members of both the Avengers and the X-Men, in addition to a representative of the Fantastic Four (Johnny) and one of the Inhumans (Crystal); their objective was to help mutants and stop the hate and fear the world felt for them. “Each one of you,” said Steve, “have been selected for their extraordinary performance in and out the battlefield and, thus, you'd been assigned to your first mission.”  
  
He sat down again and, this time, Tony took his spot at the front of the room. The picture of an evil-looking guy appeared on the holoscreen behind him, and the entire room turned to look at it. “This is Richard Foucher,” Tony explained, typing around the pad in his hands to move the graphics on the screen. “He was a doctor in the U.S. army before he betrayed us and mysteriously disappeared from a compound, apparently recruited by the enemy's forces. Long story short, the X-Men spotted the guy close to a hidden lab in South America where a group of mercenaries used to experiment with mutants. The building's apparently abandoned, having moved to a different facility, but it's your job to make sure of that.”  
  
“The mission is simple,” Steve chimed in, standing up next to Tony. “All you'll have to do is enter the lab and find as much information as you can about the facility and its whereabouts. Understood?”  
  
“Easy peasy, Cap!” Deadpool said, already pulling a gun out of its holster and rolling it around his finger. “If we're getting code names, can I be Han? I just think Palpatine would give me away. Oh, and yes, I know what you're all thinking: Spidey would look hot in Princess Lea’s golden bikini, but we don't want to get distracted, do we?”

 

***

After some more mumbo-jumbo from Captain America, the group was split up in three different mini-teams. Wade was assigned with Peter and Kurt (Kurt? Nightcrawler… Kurt. He liked that name better), who had barely objected to the order. Wade almost kissed Tony when he heard the news; they would be working together during the entire mission and Wade wasn't sure he could come up with a good excuse as to why Johnny Storm had mysteriously disappeared from the mission without a trace if he would've been paired with him. Holy mother Bea Arthur, he hated that blond manikin doll, always showing off his perfect skin and piercing blue eyes, touching Peter whenever he wanted and, quite possibly, _wherever_ he wanted. He better stayed away from him and Spidey, or he was going to…

“Okay, Unity Squad,” said Cap into the intercom and Deadpool shook his head to clear his mind.

“Is that you, God?” he asked, staring at some random point above his head.

“Deadpool…” came Tony’s exasperated warning.

“Oh, yeah. I know it wasn't her. Cap sounds nothing like Alanis Morissette, pfft.”

“Right… Okay, team. We're flying above the Patagonia right now. In two minutes we'll be reaching the western island where the lab is located.” Captain America instructed. “I want six men on the ground-”

“Sexist,” Deadpool mouthed to Spider-Man, lifting his mask enough for the bug boy to see.

“-the rest of you will be watching the surroundings from above. Spider-Man, Deadpool, Hawkeye, get ready: you'll go inside with me.”

The building wasn't anything impressive, to be honest, and it looked more like a rat nest than an actual lab, but Wade wasn't going to complain. This was possibly the lamest mission he'd ever been in in a loooong time; he could have gone alone and be done with it in less than a day without all the show of the Quinjet and a made-up alliance with the X-Men but, again, he wasn't going to complain. This mission was giving him the perfect opportunity to impress Spidey _and_ watch that bouncy ass from up close given their current position crawling inside an air duct.

Cap had gone with Kate to the east wing of the building, while Spidey and him investigated in the west wing. Unfortunately for them, the access to the second floor was blocked by a heavy metal door Peter couldn't break, and they had to look up other options. The air duct was just so cliche and Wade was loving every second of this dumbass mission.

“Hmmmm, bend over some more, Spidey. The squats are definitely paying of. Don't stop, Spidey. I love your work, Sp-”

“Pool, shut up!” Peter whisper-yelled, looking back at him over his shoulder. “And stop staring at my ass, it's making me nervous.”

Deadpool was going to laugh at that when something caught his attention. There was a weird vibration coming from somewhere at their right. It didn't feel like it came from the ground, it was more like a heavy machine working overtime. “Webs, do you feel that?”

“If you're going to say something incredibly corny, don't.”

Wade turned to the right in the next intersection, following the slight movement he could feel on his hands and knees. It wasn't long when he finally found the source as he looked down through a vent: a big, white machine that looked like a photocopier of some shit like that. Except that bigger. And Wade was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to make that weird sound or to be dented in a few places. There was no one near as far as he could tell, so he removed the grille and hopped down into the room.  
  
"That's an automated analyser," he heard from above and he almost had a heart attack when he saw Spider-Man's head poking through the vent. "Why is it on and running?"

"Don't know, but I don't like this." There were a bunch of papers scattered in a nearby desk and Wade scanned them quickly as Spider-Man jumped down next to him. The files had pictures of children with what it looked like different kinds of mutations. Each file had a map attached to it with red dots indicating possible locations; they were tracking down mutant kids with clear intentions to kidnap them.

Deadpool passed the files to Peter, who was still examining the machine, and went deeper into the room. "Are those chains sounds?" the webhead asked, following Wade, who didn't answer since he was now looking at a kid chained to the wall. "Oh, my God." The kid, a girl, looked at them in horror but didn't even tried to scream. Both heroes ran to her, but Deadpool stopped Spidey before he could try to break the chains. "Wade, what-"

"Hey, princess," he spoke to the girl, who only frowned, crawling away from them. She had scars on her arms and legs, as if someone had used a huge syringe to inject her some crap over and over. She had a few bruises on her hands and cheekbones, too, and Wade could feel his blood boiling hot with anger. "No english, maybe... Hola, nena. Te vamos a ayudar, ¿sí? Tranquila." The girl looked at them with curiosity now and Deadpool instructed Peter to break the chains. "Todo estará bien, te llevaremos a un lugar seguro."

The girl nodded and let Spidey lift her off the ground and into his arms. In that moment, the door opened and a man wearing a lab coat walked in. Richard Foucher stared at them, and immediately tried to run back where he'd come from, but Spider-Man shot a web to stop him. He was a dead man and Deadpool would make sure that happened.

He launched himself against the scientist, wrapping dangerous fingers around the man's throat and squeezing hard. Spider-Man hugged the girl close to him, the lenses of his mask impossible wide as he focussed on Deadpool holding Foucher by the collar, firmly pressed against the wall. “Wa- Deadpool,” he called, trying to pull him off his violent haze. “Don't do something you may regret later.”  
  
“I won't regret this,” Deadpool grunted, that old, horrible sound he used to make back when they weren't friends. “You better get out of here, Webs,” he half-ordered without taking his eyes off the motherfucker on the wall. “Take the little girl somewhere safe. This is about to get very ugly.”  
  
“No, Deadpool!”  
  
The mercenary loosened his hold on the scientist and let him fall on the floor with a thud. He then approached Spider-Man. “Get. Out,” he repeated and pushed Spidey out of the room. He knew Spider-Man had enough strength to stop him, but for some reason he wasn't doing it; Deadpool would probably think about that latter: right now, he had a son of a bitch to kill.

“Deadpool, open up!”

“How about we play a little game, Richie Creep?” Wade said to the man, unsheathing his katana. “Let's see how you like it getting pinched thirty three times in a row, shall we?”

“Wade, no!” he heard from the other side of the door before everything turned _red_.

 

***

 

“Oh, God…” Spider-Man gasped, walking into the room, gagging when his foot landed on a puddle of blood.  
  
Deadpool didn't bother to look at him. He was standing a few feet ahead, gun in hand and shoulders tense. His suit was covered in blood and he was staring at the body laying at his feet. He heard a few more steps coming down the hallway and suddenly the lab was a mess of voices, all of them screaming at him. A hand landed on his shoulder and he turned around to grab the owner by the collar, lifting his gun to press it against a masked head.  
  
“Wade… it's me.”  
  
Spider-Man. He was about to shoot Spider-Man...  
  
Peter.  
  
He let go of the younger man, finally getting out of the cloud that had been numbing his other senses, and looked around himself blinking rapidly.

The entire team was staring at him in horror, some of them with clear intention of attacking him. Iron Man’s repulsors where aiming at his head and Wade wouldn't have blame him if he decided to fire up. He had been really close to put a bullet through Spider-Man’s — _Peter's_ — head… Why had no one stopped him?!

“Deadpool, drop your gun,” Iron Man ordered, but he didn't pay him any attention. “Deadpool-”

“The girl,” he mumbled. “Where is she?”

“She's fine,” Spider-Man assured, walking the few steps between them, flinching when Deadpool backed down. “It's okay, she's okay.”

Only then did Deadpool drop the gun.

By the time they made it back to the Tower, Wade had already been yelled at by Tony, and heavily scolded by the Cap through the door of the cell he'd been put in inside the Quinjet. He hadn't been allowed to travel with the rest of the team and that meant he hadn't had a real chance to apologize to Peter for almost un-aliving him. Not that he would've done it on purpose, but that didn't make it any better. The memory of those big, white lenses looking up to him had been hunting him during the entire trip back; he was both anxious and absolutely terrified to face the young man again.

“Not that I'm not enjoying this first level escort service,” he spoke, walking between Cap and Stark, “but shouldn't you be cuffing me or something? Bring on the pink, fluffy ones, soldier. I've wanted to know what it feels like to submit to America's hottest beefcake.”

“For the love of God, shut your damn mouth for once,” Stark yelled, stepping out of his armor.

“Ooh, someone's jealous I'm not drooling over his metal ass. But trust me, Starky boy, you keep yourself really fit for someone your age. Don't be ashamed of those wrinkles!”

They walked into the briefing room with Deadpool still talking non-stop, followed by the rest of the group who were eyeing him warily. Captain America instructed Wade to stay silent, while they're exposed his “mistake” in front of everybody. The holoscreen showed the video Stark had recorded with his helmet from the moment they entered Foucher's lab, showing Deadpool all covered in blood as well as the mess he'd left behind. The team remained at a reasonable distance behind Wade, just watching and shaking their heads in disapproval. All except for Spider-Man, who stood next to Wade since the beginning, even against Tony's orders; the mercenary refused to look him straight to the eyes of his mask, somehow grateful he couldn't see the disappointment in the man's face.

"You understand your actions were a mistake, right?" the Captain asked, but Deadpool only shrugged. "Richard Foucher was a criminal. He tortured children and experimented on human beings, Deadpool."

"Uh, duh," Wade replied. "That's why I killed him, Cap. That wasn't just me doing my own version of a Jackson Pollock in Fifty Shades of Red."

"Pool..." Peter murmured, shaking his head, but it was too late and the entire room had already heard his confession and complete lack of regret.

"That man will never face justice because you decided to play judge, jury, and executioner, Wilson! We had a plan, and you were assigned a mission. A mission you purposely derailed. If you're not capable of following orders and work with your team, maybe you shouldn't be in one," Stark declared.

"What?" Spider-Man asked, taking a step forward. "You can't be serious."

But Deadpool knew he was. It was almost comical how Peter could have any doubt about it; it would be too inappropriate to laugh right now? Probably yes, so, better not.

"It is not yet a decision made," Captain Rogers clarified, raising a hand to calm both Stark and Peter. "We need to discuss it. In the meantime-"

“You better don't pull out another stunt like this, Deadpool.”

“- In the meantime. Keep a low profile. All of you. We will contact you when we have reached an agreement. You can go.”

Captain America and Iron Man crossed the door to what looked like a private office, finalizing the meeting. Peter was fuming next to him, Deadpool could feel the restless energy coming out of him, but Wade was kinda happy they hadn't immediately kicked him out of the program, even if that was what they'd ultimately decide. Spidey exchanged a quick glance with Deadpool and, against every survival instinct Wade could think of, followed the other superheroes inside the prohibited room; the door closed behind him, before Wade could do anything to stop him.

\---

“He did the right thing!” Peter yelled, ripping off his mask and striding behind Steve and Tony to match their pace. The other two turned around in surprise, completely baffled at seeing their former poster boy talking back at them. Peter didn't give a fuck; they were wrong, they needed to know and, besides, this wasn’t the first time —certainly wouldn’t be the last— that Peter questioned their decision. “He saved that girl. You can punish him for saving a little girl,” he finished, stopping in front of Tony, since he was the one that seemed more reluctant to accept Wade since the beginning.

“Peter. He killed that man,” Steve explained, lowering his voice in an attempt to calm the arachnid; it wasn't working, it made Peter angrier. “He was reckless and disobedient. He risked the entire mission.”

“He saved a girl, for Christ’s sake!”

“He was cruel,” Tony added, finally finding his voice. “He was… he was fucking sadistic , Peter. You can't come and tell me that was okay? He sweet-talked you and suddenly you're completely fine with killing? Didn't know you had it that bad, kiddo.”

“I never said I was okay with that,” Peter clarified, ignoring, for now, Tony’s mockery. “He… He made a mistake. I know that. But he saved a life and brought even more information of what we thought we could find there. He didn't screw up the mission, he finished it.”

“He exposed us!” Tony yelled, losing his temper. “He sent a clear message to the rest of the organization, now they know we're investigating the case.”

Peter lifted his arms, frustrated. Yes, Wade had killed again, and yes, it hadn't been pretty. Peter had been there, he'd seen the crime scene, but he knew Wade had done it only because there were kids involved. He had a soft spot for kids, who could blame him? He hadn't meant to expose the whole operation, but it wasn't as if the bad guys wouldn't have notice a group of super people randomly wandering around their lab. They couldn't blame Wade for that.

“Don't you get it?” Tony pressed. “Any chance we had of getting ahead of them is gone! Vanished! And it's all because of him!”

“They were going to find out anyway!” Peter yelled, because, seriously? “They had a child in there, don't you think they would've noticed if she went missing?”

“Stop justifying your boyfriend, Peter!”

“Tony!” Steve scolded the other man, then turned to Peter with an apologetic look.

Boyfriend… Tony had really said boyfriend. He'd insinuated _Wade_ was his _boyfriend_. That joke was starting to get out of control; it was one thing to have Johnny Storm mocking him, but Tony? And after they'd been arguing about something important, it was simply too much. “My what?” Peter asked, just to make sure his ears weren't playing games on him.

Tony glanced at Steve for a moment and, after the supersoldier nodded with some resignation, he redirected his attention back to Peter. “The cat's out of the bag, kid. Stop lying to us.” Peter shook his head, brows knitted in confusion. Tony let out an tired sigh. “We know you're screwing Deadpool.”

“What?! Who- who said that? Who- What?”

“Why don't we sat down?” Steve suggested, but neither Tony nor Peter listened. “Come on, Spider-Man. Sit down.”

“I'd rather stay like this, if you don’t mind.” Peter took a deep breath, trying to ground himself. He wasn't sure why he was getting so worked up about it, but suddenly he wished he hadn't taken off his mask as he felt his face turning red. Boyfriend. They seriously thought Wade was his boyfriend; it'd been easier to process when they lied to the landlady, but maybe it was because Peter had been in charge of everything that time. Here, right now, in front of the two men that had been his mentors during his first years of superheroing, Peter couldn't bring himself to look up at them in the eyes.

“I know you're a grown up man and we have no right to comment on who you decide to be with,” Steve continued, looking between Tony and Peter. “And we respect your decision of… of keeping this away from us,” he added, looking genuinely mortified, like a father who had just discovered his teenage son didn't trust him enough to tell him he was gay or something. God, Peter was going to hurt real bad whoever had spread the rumor that he was dating Wade for real. “But we know now. You don't need to hide it anymore.”

“How…?”

“Well, I mean,” Tony said, resting a hand on Peter's shoulder. “If you really didn't want us to find out, you should've told your friend Johnny Storm to keep his mouth shut. Didn't he even throw a party in your honor? That's what Kate said.”

 _Johnny_.

Of course. Why hadn't he guessed it.

“Look, guys. It's not what you think-”

“It's okay, Pete.” Tony patted his shoulder, fondly. “It's not ideal but, whatever, the heart wants what it wants, right? Even if what you want is a crazy mercenary, we're here for you.”

“No, that's not-”

“We both apologize for not creating a safe space for you and making you believe you couldn't tell us you’re gay-”

“I'm not! I mean, I'm bi, actually, but-”

“-But we want you to know we're here if you need us, Peter.” Steve kept talking while Tony nodded next to him, both men ignoring Peter's attempts at telling them the truth. Gosh, this was awkward. “We… you can come to us if you need… assistance or advise, and… we'll do our best to provide it.”

What were they doing? Were they going to give him the _talk_? He was almost thirty, he knew how to have sex with a guy, thank you very much. Like, you know, if he were to have sex with Wade. Which he wasn't. Because they weren't together for real. But still, he knew his way around another guy's co-... He knew what to do, okay?!

“Guys!” he shouted, waving his hands in front of their faces to make them stop. “It's, God, it's not what you think! We're not… I mean, we just moved in together, but we're not… Uhm, we're not…” _Together, Parker, you're not together! Why is it so hard to say!_

“Okay, we won't get in your way,” Steve assured, probably confusing Peter's lack of words for embarrassment. “But you need to understand your… relationship with Deadpool puts the Avengers at stake.”

“What? Why?” Peter couldn't help but ask. He might not be Wade’s boyfriend, but he was his friend and his roommate; he needed to know what they thought was so terrible about it.

"He's been doing really well in S.H.I.E.L.D., and we suspected it was because of you and your influence on him. Your romance it's clearly the reason behind Wade’s good behavior, but he's still a mercenary and, if you two get in a fight… well, the organization would take the hit. You know better than us that he is unstable even in his good days, and with you two together… We needed to keep a close eye on him, that's why we invited him to be part of the Avengers,” Steve admitted, somehow embarrassed.

“This was supposed to be the easy part,” Tony lamented. “We gave Deadpool a chance on a silver platter and he still found a way to ruin it. Well done, jackass.”

Peter frowned. He understood it wasn't… Well, it wasn't just nothing; he'd killed the scientist, yes, but thanks to him that little girl could go back to her mom and that must count for something. Jesus, thanks to him they now knew there were other mutant kids in danger. That alone should guarantee him a second chance, at least, right? For what Peter could gather, they recognized Wade’s value; it couldn't be that hard to move past this and set up a new plan.

“So what now? You're just going to let him go? Just like that?” he asked, breaking the silence.

Steve took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We're not letting him go,” he declared, to which Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head, but otherwise didn't argue Steve's words. “We need to think what we're going to do to fix the mess, but he's… he's still part of the team.”

“I don't get it.”

“We're doing this for you, lover-bug,” Tony said rolling his eyes again. “We don't want you crying in the corners because you're not allowed to work with your boyfriend. We have enough with one superpowered man with separation anxiety disorder,” he concluded, shrugging.

“A second chance,” Steve clarified. “For you, Peter.”

 

***

 

Peter walked out of the room half an hour later with his head still attached to his shoulders, and Wade took that as a good sign. He'd been waiting in the meeting room with only Johnny and Kate as company, not sure if he was supposed to leave the building without Peter or not. Spidey seemed a little surprised of seeing him there, his steps faltering when his eyes finally spotted Wade in the middle of the room, but his uncertainty soon changed to determination and the steps that followed were firmer and wider.  
  
“Pete? What happ-” he tried to ask, but Peter denied with his head, the action barely perceptible to those around them.  
  
The young man looked briefly over his shoulder to where Captain Pops and Iron Dad where still watching their every movement, and caressed Wade’s hand briefly. He then proceeded to stand on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around Wade’s shoulders in a tight hug, and whispered into his ear: “Please, don't panic and play along.”  
  
And then Peter kissed him.  
  
It happened in a blur and, for a second, Wade thought he was dreaming. One moment Peter was lifting Wade’s mask up to his nose and the next he was shortening the small distance between their faces until he could practically taste his breath. Wade’s right arm flew to Peter's waist automatically, holding the smaller man closer to his body when he felt soft lips grazing the corner of his mouth, a barely there touch that ignited the spot where they'd touched. It wasn't a proper kiss, to be honest, but just the feeling of having Peter's chest pressed so firmly against his own, the arms still tangled around him, and the little puffs of air hitting his mouth were enough to make Wade’s legs shake a little. He tightened his hold around Peter's waist when the other tried to pull away, but let him go a second after without a fight, already missing his warmth as he tried to ignore the blush on his marbled face; he did not ignore when Peter squeezed his shoulder before lowering his feet to the ground to look him right in the eyes.  
  
“It's okay… pumpkin,” Peter said, squinting at his own words. “We can go home now.”  
  
“Remember what we talked about, Parker,” Tony said from behind them as Peter took Wade’s hand and pulled him towards the door.  
  
“I know, dad,” Peter replied, dragging the last word and rolling his eyes. “It's too soon for grandchildren. Got it.

“Did he said _grandchildren_ ?!”  
  
Wade let the web-slinger guide him through the hallway and into the elevator, barely noticing when Johnny and Kate walked in after them. Peter was dead silent next to Wade and the merc didn't dare to ask what had that been all about for fear of disturbing Spidey’s thoughts. He didn't even commented when he saw Peter pressing the button to go to the roof instead of the first floor, but Johnny didn't seem to mind breaking the long silence.  
  
“So…” the blond began, but was quickly interrupted by Peter shaking his head.  
  
“Not now, Johnny. I'll call you later. I need a moment alone with Wade.”

They said goodbye to Johnny and Kate, and Peter took them back to their apartment using his webs. In any other circumstance, Wade would have shrieked out of happiness, lifting his arms into the wind as they swung from building to building. Not this time, though. Peter didn't look like he wanted to talk and Wade was still trying to process what had happened that day. After all the shit he'd gone through, the fake kiss was still the only thing he couldn't quite grasp yet.

They made it to their apartment when it was already past midnight, so they went in through the window without talking their suits off. Peter sat on the couch, rolling his mask over his head and running his fingers through his brown hair to let it breath after an entire day of being pressed against his skull. “Holy fuck nuggets, eh,” Wade commented, still standing by the window. “I thought they were going to choke me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no opposed to a little breathplay, but I wasn't lubed enough for that threesome.”

Peter chuckled and patted the spot next to him. “Come sit with me?” he asked. “I think we need to talk.”

“You breaking up with me? Marggie is going to be devastated!”

“Wade…”

“Okay, okay. Don't yell at me, I'm gonna get hard.”

Once he took a seat next to Peter, he hesitantly took his mask off, too. He knew that whatever the younger man had to say, it was better if they talked it face to face. Wade knew part of the conversation would inevitably be centered on the kiss at some point, but he hoped that part didn't come soon. Peter began by explaining what had happened inside the Avengers secret room…

“And now thanks to Johnny, Captain America and Iron Man think we're dating. For real,” Peter finished the story, rubbing the pads of his fingers over his tired eyes.

“What are we gonna do?” Wade thought he'd said, but it had really came out like a soft whisper. “What are we gonna do?” he repeated, louder this time.

Peter shrugged, flopping down to rest his back fully on the couch. “Keep lying, I guess. It's our best option. Our only option, really.”

“No, we have to tell the truth!” Wade corrected, panicking a little over the thought of lying to the Avengers and ruining Spider-Man’s reputation in the process; he didn't know if he could do that. “We- They'll understand, right? We still have time!”

“After that kiss? I doubt it,” Peter denied with a soft smile, but Wade wished he hadn't brought that back again; he was having a hard time trying not to think about him biting those soft, soft lips every time he saw Peter talking. “What? Can't stand the thought of being my fake boyfriend while wearing spandex, big guy?” the web-head asked with a smirk.

“Oh, honey, on the contrary. I think we should start pretending to fuck while wearing spandex. The tower has thousands and thousands of broom closets we could hide in,”  he replied, waving his hairless eyebrows in an inviting way. Peter laughed at that and that helped to ease Wade’s worry, at least a fraction. “We should tell the truth, though,” he insisted after a while when their laugh had died down.

“We can't do that.”

“Why not?”

Peter straightened up in the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. “They… they won't let you be an Avenger if they find out.”

Wade swallowed the lump in his throat, and the laugh that came out of his mouth was bitter: of course there was a catch. There was always a catch. “Well. So what? It's not like I deserve to be there, right? You heard them, the whole goody-two-shoes shtick isn't for me anyway.”

“You deserve that chance,” Peter assured, patting Wade’s hand. “And after today, it's more than obvious we need you there. If this is what it takes… we'll do it. I'll do it. What's the worst that can happen?”

Wade could think of thousands different things that could go wrong, but he wasn't going to tell that to Peter. Besides, it wasn't like they were going to see the Ass-Team very often, right?

… Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be fluffier, I promise.
> 
> English translation to Wade's words:
> 
> * Hi, baby. We're going to help you, okay? Don't worry.  
> ** Everything will be fine, we'll take you someplace safe.


	4. Homes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade face the domestic life at last. Enter some cooking, a couple of origin stories, and a stack of porn that wasn’t supposed to be found. Whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm waaaay far behind the schedule and I apologize for it. I hope I can get back on track now, thanks for your patience!

Life was a bitch and Wade was tired of being proven right.

Barely ten hours after they were in The Little Office of Horrors, Tony Stark had called both him and Peter, demanding they showed up at the Tower as soon as possible. That could only mean one thing: They'd made a decision. On the good side, he hadn't had to wait long. On the bad side, he would have to pretend to be dating Peter in front of them. On the better side, maybe Peter would want to kiss him again just to prove a point. Wade was a good friend, so of course he would gladly kiss him as many times as the kid wanted to keep the farce.

(And yes, he was totes counting that brush of lips as a kiss and he didn't care what anyone said about it, shut it.)

Peter was at work when the call came in, so they didn't visited the tower until way pass 9 p.m. Tony was ready to reprimand them, but Steve stopped him in time, reminding them they were there to deliver the news that Wade was still part of the team. Wade released the sigh he’d been holding after hours with barely any sleep, thinking he'd ruined his big opportunity. But neither he nor Peter —who, suspiciously, didn’t seem surprised at all— had too much time to celebrate or even begin to process the information, since the news were accompanied by a blow a lot more disconcerting: to make it happen, they were required to move to the Tower with the rest of their team.

“I'm sorry, what?” Wade asked, blinking rapidly, waiting for Iron Dildo to start laughing and say he was joking.

“You two are gonna move to the Tower, and so is the rest of the Unity Squad.”

So, no joking?

“Uhm, sorry?” Peter asked, lifting his hand like a school boy. “Why the sudden change? The other Avengers don't live here, do they?”

Stark looked at Peter, unamused and cocking an eyebrow like he was trying to decide if Peter was being serious or not. “Well, no. Most of them don’t.” Tony said and Wade could swear Steve was trying to hide a smile behind his hand. “But unlike you two, they actually show up when I ask them to.” Peter blushed and lowered his hand, muttering something under his breath that sounded like _‘it was just one time’_. “If there's no more questions,” Stark continued, glaring at Wade and daring him to say something. Once he was satisfied with Wade's negative response, he added: “There's something else I need to ask from you, Peter.”

Peter frowned, but nodded either way, moving closer to Wade and ‘casually’ taking his hand. “Of course, mister Stark,” he challenged in a charming voice, smiling innocently even though everyone in the room _knew_ it wasn't real.

“I don't know if I should be scared or turned on,” Wade confessed in a whisper. Peter snorted, but stayed otherwise quiet, waiting for whatever Stark was about to say.

The billionaire rolled his eyes and made an annoyed sound. “Not about that,” he assured and Wade did a mental note to congratulate Peter later for his superb acting, pretending he didn't know what Tony was talking about. “No, it's about the files you found in the lab during the mission.”

“What about them?” Wade demanded, tightening his hold around Peter's hand and pulling slightly to move him behind himself; they were nuts if they thought they could blame that one on Peter. “I found them, is anything wrong with them?”

“Boys,” Steve intervened calmly. “As adorable as it is that you two care so much for each other,”—no, Wade wasn't blushing, nope, that wasn't a blush, shut up… Wait, should he let go of Petey’s hand?—“we need you to relax. There's nothing wrong with them. It's the contrary, I believe? That's what I gathered from what Tony told me.”

“Yes, it's good. Stop being so defensive,” Stark continued, rolling his eyes again at Peter, who refused to stop holding Wade’s hand. “What I was gonna say is… We need you in the lab, Pete. We need extra hands to decipher Richard Foucher’s investigation—it's bigger than we thought it'd be.”

“What? But- Doctor Banner-”

“He is working on them, but he’ll need help.”

“See it this way, kid. You already work at Stark Industries, don't you? This would only expand your schedule to full-time, that's all. And that of course comes with certain benefits, so nothing to lose, right?”

It turned out Peter did have something to lose. Sort of. He had to quit his job at _the Daily Bugle_ to accommodate to his new schedule. That meant no more boring articles about the city's greatest celebrities and no more writing about the gossip Peter actually didn't give a shit about, yeah—Wade was going to miss reading those probably more than Peter would do writing them—, but quitting, unfortunately, also meant no more Spidey selfies and no more paid photography jobs. That certainly was something the young man was going to miss, but he'd assured Tony he was willing to do it without a problem; Wade just hoped it was worth it.

“I mean… You still could take those selfies, you know?” Wade suggested, shrugging. “Who else is gonna get them for Triple J anyway? He kinda needs them.”

Peter snorted, poking inside the cardboard box he’d just opened. “According to J.J., ‘anyone can take those pathetics shots, Parker. Now get the heck out of my office’,” he mimicked, taking his hands out of the box to make the air quotes.

Wade stopped what he was doing to stare at Peter. “Did he really say ‘heck’?”

“... No,” he confessed and then proceeded to throw a book at Wade's head when he heard him mumbling _Dork_ under his breath. “The point is he said he wasn't interested in the pictures if he couldn't have all of me... and that sounded way creepier now than it did back then, eww.”

“Well, then bring them over! We need to redecorate this shit-hole and I'd love to have your ass papered all over the place.”

“We’re not going to ruin Tony’s apartment with pictures of my ass, merc.”

“Boooooriiiiing.”

Wade was joking, of course; even though it wasn't really that big, the apartment was far from being a shit-hole, with his tall windows and modern decorations, but  Wade was toning down the excitement he felt about living in the Avengers Tower. The. Motherfucking. Avengers Tower! He'd dreamed of it since the day he knew they existed, those were the real heroes! Having to lie to their poor landlady and say they were leaving the apartment to take care of Peter's aunt had been rough but totally worth it once they saw the place Tony Stark had assigned them.

There were other members of the side team living around them, but Peter and Wade were the only ones that shared since, well, they were supposedly dating. Fortunately for both of them, the apartment had two rooms, so it had been super easy to get to an agreement in the new place. Wade once again didn’t have too much to unpack, and he’d offered Peter help with his stuff; they were currently sitting on the living room’s floor, going through the third box full of books, and Wade was already dreading there were more of those in the pile that was still unopened.

“Dude, you’re a freaking nerd. How many of these are there?!” he questioned, rolling the biochemistry book he held in his hands. “I thought I was gonna have fun here, but you'll have a sciencegasm around Stark if you're not careful.”

“Between you and me, I can’t wait to start working with Bruce and Tony! I only have a glimpse of the amazing stuff Tony has been working on in the division I’m in; if they allow me to get into the lab with Dr. Banner, I’m gonna see so much more of their technology, I’m actually really excited! I won’t blow this chance like I did before,” Peter finished as if he'd said it was going to rain tomorrow.

Wade, on the other hand, dropped the book.

“What do you mean by that? You'd lived here before?!”

Peter didn’t answer right away. He kept his eyes low as he pulled another box from the pile and ripped off the tape. “I... I got invited to be an Avenger some time ago,” he said. “A long time ago, actually,” he added, laughing. “I got a room close to the main team and everything. But I had to quit after a while and that was it.” He shrugged and went back to get things out of the box.

“And that was it? Just like that?”

“Well... I... I had to reveal my identity if I wanted to be part of the team, and my aunt... she got caught in the mess. I couldn't let that happen.”

“Your aunt?” Wade asked, dropping everything off to devote all his attention to Peter. When they started all that show of pretending to be boyfriends, Peter had mentioned a little bit of his family (both parents dead and raised by his aunt and uncle), but neither of them had wanted to delve into the subject anymore than what was necessary at the time. Wade was regretting a bit having asked now, but Peter didn’t seemed mad about it so he let his curiosity loose. “What happened to her?”

Peter bit his lip, sadly. “After my first mission with the Avengers, the entire city —good and bad guys— recognized me as one of them. I got targeted by criminals and enemies more dangerous than what I was used to, so it was not long before one of them found my aunt and they, uh, they kidnapped her... We rescued her soon enough but, once she was safe, I quit the team. I’d lost enough people as it was because of my mistakes... I couldn’t- I couldn’t let that happen to her, too.”

“Baby boy…” Wade wanted to pull the other man into a hug but he settled for patting his arm reassuringly. “I’m so sorry, but none of that was your fault. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, well. I got bitten when I was fifteen and I had to learn to do this all by myself. My uncle... Gwen... they died because of me, because I didn't know how to handle… all this. Aunt May is the only family I have left, I don't know what I'd do if something happen to her.”

Wade nodded, unsure if he should say something to cheer Peter up. He was the worst when it came to comforting other people, and watching Spider-Man baring his heart for him to see was too much. He knew it was impossible to be the mighty superhero he always pictured Peter to be even out of the suit, but somehow his brain couldn't accept it: if someone like Spidey felt this kind of fear and guilt, what could Wade expect of himself?

“But now you're an Avenger again,” Peter nodded, smiling brightly this time. “And your aunt…” Wade trailed off.

“Oh, no. She’s fine now. She’s in this kind of witness protection program Tony invented just for her. She keeps her identity and all that, but her house has Stark Tech all over, it’s great. I’ll take you to see it someday.”

Wade hadn't seen that coming. Meeting Pete's aunt? He was joking, wasn't he? It wasn't- he couldn't be serious about that one! Quick, create a distraction! “Ohhh, so we’re meeting the parents already?” he said, fanning himself with his hand. “Am I ‘bout to find a ring somewhere between all this nerd crap you have here?”

“You wish!” Peter shot back, attacking Wade with a black plastic bag that was close to him. That caused the bag to break, emptying all its contents on the mercenary. Peter took something from the floor and gasped. “… But it seems you won't need my pictures anymore, uh?”

Wade turned to look up at him and his face turned red: Peter was holding one if his magazines, his _porn_ _magazines_ , and was currently flipping through the pages while the expression on his face became more and more scandalized as the pictures went by. Wade tried to snatch the magazine back, but Peter used his powers to cling to the paper.

“That’s not mine!” Wade tried to defend himself.

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure they aren’t mine, either. Maybe Tony left them here by accident, I should call him and ask-”

“No!” Wade yelled, throwing himself over Peter to get to the magazine. Peter laughed and finally let go of the thing, clutching his stomach when they sat back up. “Okay, they’re mine,” Wade admitted. “But they’re for emergencies! I don’t- not in the house! Not when you’re around…” he finished in a whisper.

“Okay…” Peter murmured once his laugh died down. “Can I borrow one of them?”

Wade frowned, almost offended. “That’s gay porn, man. And by that I mean huge, hunky dudes with thick and large co-”

“Yeah, I figured that much. So, can I?”

“Oh… Yeah, sure. Be my guest?”

So, Spidey _really_ was into guys, uh? Interesting…

 

***

 

Now that Peter wasn’t working at the Daily Bugle anymore, he had more time to spend with Wade outside of their suits. He still had to go to the lab in what could be considered office hours, but at least he was home for dinner… and if that didn't sound completely couple-y... Peter had avoided to think what it implied to live in the Avengers Tower 24/7, but now that he was alone in the elevator on his third week in the tower, he finally allowed himself to listen to that little voice in the back of his head that reminded him what a bad idea this was.

They had people coming over _all the time_. He wasn't even exaggerating, there was always someone sitting at their living room when he got home or during the weekends when neither he or Wade had work to do, and that meant they had to pretend to be madly in love with each other basically all day. Peter had no problem with the pet names and the soft touches, but he was getting more and more anxious by the minute, afraid of being discovered no matter how much fun it was to fake a relationship with Wade. They’d walk down the hallway holding hands and sometimes pretended to have loud sex during the night, jumping on the sofa and making lewd noises to inconvenience their closest neighbours, but with most of his friends visiting at every opportunity, Peter didn't know for how long he could continue with this.

More often than not it was Clint, who wasn't even part of the Unity Squad but was good friends with Wade and loved to come over. Other times, it was Johnny, who acted like nothing had changed since the day he himself was the one sharing an apartment with Peter. A few of the other Avengers showed up, too, along with Kate and Kurt, and one of Wade’s friends that had introduced himself as Weasel. Even Dr. Banner had paid them a visit once or twice to discuss a few things with Peter, but definitely the one Peter dreaded more to see was Tony, who, coincidentally, was also the person leaving the small apartment when Peter walked outside the elevator. God, he hated lying to the man… He made a face and cleared his throat softly to announce his presence, waving when the man turned around to face him.

“Oh, hi, Pete. How's it going? And why so late? It's almost 6:30!” Tony asked scandalized, looking down at his wristwatch.

“This is… this is usually the time I get home. Mr. Stark,” he said, more like a question than a statement. He hadn't called him that since he was 20, but Tony was his boss now, wasn't he? That meant he had to refer to him with some kind of hint of his hierarchy or something, even if it made him scrunch his nose. “What are you doing here, sir?”

“Oh, I was waiting for you, actually. Your boyfriend let me in,” he answered, dismissively.

“My… boyfriend. Right… If you'd like to go back, we can talk over a cup of coffee. Or something?”

“Thank you, kid,” he said, patting Peter's shoulder. “But I have to go now. I had no idea you worked this late, we'll have to fix that.” He didn't wait for Peter to answer and instead went for the elevator. “Drop by my office tomorrow, okay?” The man disappeared behind the doors before Peter could ask what time he should be there, but that was a problem for tomorrow-him. Right now, the only thing in his mind was dinner and his bed.

Working with Dr. Banner was awesome, but Peter had no idea of how much research they had to do to decode the data they'd gotten from Foucher’s files. As far as they could tell, the scientists were trying to replicate some old project called _Weapon X_ that experimented with mutants, except this time they were targeting kids under the assumption that they were "more flexible and easily adaptable to the experiments". Dr. Banner and Peter had a bunch of numbers and locations they had yet to organize and Peter died a little bit inside at the thought of those children chained to the wall in case they’d been caught already.

Sadly, he knew he couldn't just go into a coma like he wanted to, he had work to do and, more importantly, he no longer lived alone; if May came to hear about his terrible manners, she would be very disappointed in him. His bed would have to wait, but as long as he had something to eat, he'd be fine. He he opened the pad to type the code to the apartment, but a loud sound coming from the other side made him stop on his tracks.

“Oh, thank God you're here!” Wade yelled, opening the door for him and taking Peter's arm to get him inside. “He just showed up here and I didn't know what to do! I panicked a little, but he's gone and you're here now,” he added, wrapping his arms around Peter in a tight embrace. “Oh, you're here now. Spidey will know what to do. Oh, good Spidey,” he kept saying into Peter's hair, rubbing his back with a steady hand.

“Jesus, you're such a baby,” Peter laughed, patting Wade’s back. “I'm sure it wasn't that bad.” It wasn’t the first time Tony had visited, but it was the first time he’d caught Wade alone in the apartment. Peter could only imagine the stress Wade had been put under, but judging by his brief encounter with the billionaire outside the elevator, his friend had done a good job. “Did he say anything?”

“Well, he actually lectured me about how I was corrupting you with my dubious actions, and tried to convince me to break up with you, in an attempt to save your virtue _and_ virginity like the good adoptive father he is,” Wade blurted out in one breath, leaving Peter without words.

“What the-”

“I’m kidding. He wanted to talk about some shit involving your suit. Something about an Iron Spider? Does that sound familiar to you?”

“Oh, no. No the Iron Spider again.”

“What’s that? Is it a suit that turns you into his little sidekick or something?” Wade asked, narrowing his eyes.

Just when Peter tried to explain, his stomach decided it couldn’t wait any longer and made a terrible sound to remind Peter he hadn’t eaten since lunch time. Wade looked at him suspiciously. “Sorry,” Peter apologized with a blush. They were still standing close to the door and if Peter’s enhanced senses were correct, there was no ready-cooked food anywhere in the apartment. “Let me grab a bowl of instant soup and we can continue this conversation,” he offered, leaving his bag in the couch and walking towards the kitchen.

“Uh, nope,” Wade denied, holding his arm. “You need real food, Webs. Come on, we're going to cook.”

“But I’m hungry now!” Peter whined like a toddler.

“Then hurry up,” Wade mocked back, pushing him into the kitchen. “It’ll be quick, I promise. Here,” he handed him a bunch of vegetables he’d taken out of the fridge. “Take this knife and chop them like this,” he said, showing Peter how to do it. “If you’re a good boy and don’t cut your little fingers, I’ll give you one of my Oreos while we wait.”

“You’re annoying,” Peter lied, taking Wade’s place to chop vegetables, while the other man worked on the stove.

Peter did the task the way Wade had instructed without more complaints. It was easier once he understood the mechanics behind it, and he was genuinely surprised he hadn’t tried to cook real food before. Well, he’d tried, but it was always disastrous, that was why Felicia never let him get close to the kitchen... And he shouldn’t be thinking about her. They’d broken up. Bad Peter... He was talking like Wade now? What was wrong with him? He needed to focus if he wanted to get that cookie. Chopping the vegetables, that was easy.

Even though it was the first time they did it, they worked fast and in synch inside the kitchen, and no long after, they were already at the table, ready to eat with their plates before them. Peter thought it wasn’t that different from going out on patrol with the mercenary; they understood each other well and didn’t get in the other’s way. Besides, it was a big plus their food was already dead, that way they didn’t have to argue over whether the “no-killing” rule could be ignored or not.

Peter was about to stick his fork into a piece of roast beef when the creepy silence on the other side of the table forced him to look up.

Wade wasn't eating, in fact, he was staring at some random spot on the table with sad eyes and a melancholic smile on his face, stirring the contents of his plate without care. Peter lowered his fork, and cocked his head. “Are you okay?” he asked, softly as to not scare him.

Wade lifted his eyes to meet Peter’s and he seemed surprised to see him there. “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine,” he assured, but didn't sound too convinced. “How's the food? Good?”

“What's going on inside that thick skull of yours, Pool?” Peter insisted gently.

“Nothing, I was just… thinking about the last time I cooked with someone. It’s weird, I don’t know what it popped out now.”  
  
“Who was it?” Peter asked again to strike conversation while he took small pieces of meat and vegetables from his plate and brought them into his mouth, hoping Wade wanted to talk about it. It was until then that Peter notice he didn’t know too much about the merc.

“Ugh, it’s time for the sad origin story, isn’t it? Okay, here we go, I'll do this quickly... Ness- Vanessa. Her name was Vanessa.” Peter smiled to encourage him to keep going; Wade took a deep breath before he resumed his story. “She was my girlfriend and she... they killed her.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“Meh, you didn't do it... Vanessa and I... We did a lot of things together, you know? Like cooking and watching movies, and all that stuff cliched couples do. That was before the big cancer striked and I became a lab rat that ultimately turned into, well, into this scarred Shar Pei you have the displeasure to see now.”

“Wade…”

“But Vanessa…” Wade proceeded, ignoring Peter’s scold completely. “She was great... And that was actually the last time I willingly lived with another human being. So, lucky you I guess?”

“I’m lucky to have you,” Peter affirmed with a mischievous smile. “You’re a good cook and kinda interesting. I’d endure your awful jokes any day if it opens the doors to a meal like this.”  
  
Wade snorted, kicking Peter under the table. “And here I was, thinking you loved me for my hot bod and breathtaking looks.”  
  
“Oh, well, that’s a plus, definitely.”  
  
Wade rolled his eyes and looked down at his plate. “Eat your food, you perpetual twink.”

Peter was too hungry to keep arguing, so he obeyed after he blew a raspberry at Wade. He couldn’t wait to introduce him to Aunt May.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are all my chapters longer than what I originally plan? *dies*


	5. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a man of his word, so it’s time for Wade to meet Aunt May. Everything seems to be perfect until the adorable woman reveals interesting information. When are they going to give them a break, for Odin’s sake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up two months late with coffee* So... long chapter because I have no self control! \o/

Convincing Wade of going to May’s house for dinner had been harder than what Peter had imagined. He'd joke and lie, saying he had a special mission every time Peter suggested they went to visit his aunt, although the younger man knew for a fact it wasn't true. He'd even seen him going into Weasel’s bar once when he said he was out of town, and that just kept happening for almost an entire month. By the fourth week, Peter simply stopped trying to talk him into accepting, finally recognizing it was a waste of time; Wade didn't want to meet Aunt May.

For some unknown reason, it was important for Peter to introduce the stubborn man to his aunt, but if he didn't want to go, then fine, he wasn't going to keep insisting. Maybe Wade didn't like families or it was a sore subject to him—Peter remembered it had taken him a while to fully embrace the concept when his parents disappeared and then again when his uncle died; he'd been a kid in both those times, yeah, but he didn't know exactly for how long Wade had been on his own, it could be pretty much his entire life for all he knew.

So they didn't talk about May again, until three days ago when Steve dropped by for a visit.

The super soldier had showed up news about their mission, but the investigation on mutant experimentation was moving incredibly slow for everyone's liking. Half the team (meaning Crystal, Kate, Rogue and Kurt) had been sent to a recon mission in two of the red spots marked in the files they'd found in the facility, but so far the reports had come in blank and they were starting to think it'd been a fake lead; they'd be out there for two more weeks before they were ordered to move to a new location, hoping they'd find something.

Peter, on his part, was still stuck in the lab with Dr. Banner day after day, but not only the progress of the investigation was written in code, they'd also found there was a bunch of data that'd been purposely omitted, either because they knew someone was behind them, or because they were terrible at the scientific method; either way, without that information, there wasn't a lot they could do.

Meanwhile, Wade and Johnny had been assigned what Peter called a “desk job”, which basically consisted in reading file after file of all the people that was once linked to Foucher during his time in the army. They both were so miserable it was actually funny, but Wade in particular had resulted pretty helpful since he knew most of the vocabulary written in the files, whereas Johnny struggled to find the meaning of all those words; Wade had already identified a few names that could be useful and that had really impressed Steve. He'd insisted on presenting his compliments personally and that was the reason he was currently sitting at their table, waiting for the cup of coffee that Peter had offered.

“So, tell me, Wade,” Steve resumed their talk as he grabbed a cookie from the plate Wade was handing him.  “You were in the military, then?”

Peter was pouring coffee into three mugs when he heard the question, but he didn't need to see Wade to know he'd flinched. Wade was wearing his Deadpool mask and civies, like he'd chosen to do every time someone he wasn't friends with showed up for a visit, and Peter was grateful that Steve hadn't drawn attention to it; Peter didn't like the mask, but he knew how much Wade needed it.

“Ah, yeah, yeah. Special Forces, sir,” he heard Wade answering, followed by the sound of the metal chair scratching on the floor when Wade shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Peter hurried to go back to the table in hopes of finding more about Wade’s past.

“Ah, wow. Hard training, I assume?” Steve asked, but Wade shrugged like he wasn't sure of what to say. “Yeah, I can see now where your abilities and tactics come from.”

“Oh, I don't know, Cap. I've been told I'm pretty…”

“Reckless?” Peter chimed in, as he sipped from his mug. “Unpredictable? Extremely undisciplined?”

“ _Creative_ , Baby Boy. But thanks for the compliments, you're making me blush,” Wade cooed, bringing a hand to his chest.

“Any time, honey,” Peter said back, rolling his eyes.

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly and this time both Wade and Peter blushed for real. He was looking at them like he'd witnessed a very intimate conversation and Peter realized he'd forgotten, until then, that he was supposed to pretend Wade was his boyfriend. He would probably have to analyze later how they didn't even have to act anymore to convince Steve that they were dating but, come on, this was _Steve Rogers_ they were talking about—he'd worry if it was literally anyone else.

“Uhm, I'll go soon, I promise. I'm almost done,” Steve swore and Peter bit his lip hard to control the urge to hide his face in his hands. “I'd like to invite you to spar with me in the Avengers' gym, Wade” he said, directing his words at the mercenary, who was eyeing the remaining cookies at the center of the table.

“What?”

“Sparring with me,” Steve repeated himself, kindly. “I'd like to invite Natasha and Tony, too, so they can evaluate your method, if you don't mind.”

“Me? Why me?” Wade stuttered, completely taken aback.

“I think it'd be beneficial to both of us. Soldier against soldier,” Cap explained. “Is this weekend okay? I'd like to start as soon as possible, if it's fine with you.”

“I can't. This weekend. I can't this weekend,” Wade rushed to correct, twisting his fingers nervously.

Peter was sure his mouth was hanging open, but hopefully the mug lifted halfway to his face was covering his disbelief. Steve, on the other hand, cocked his head and frowned, not exactly offended but certainly surprised.

“Okay... S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't assigned you a mission, did they? They know you're working with-”

“We're gonna visit Peter's aunt this weekend,” Wade interrupted, barely controlling the volume of his voice.

Peter, who had successfully gotten out of his surprise to take another sip of his coffee, wished with all his heart he hadn't done it. After he heard Wade’s statement, he almost choked on the liquid and both Steve and Wade turned to him with entirely different expressions on their faces: Steve looked curious; Wade was literally begging for help. He coughed once to get rid of the coffee still clogging his throat. “We've planned it for a month,” he lied hoarsely, rubbing the back of his neck. Oh, God… He was lying so much lately, it was like his teenage years all over again.

“Oh… Oh!” Steve gasped, looking nervously around him. “Right. Your aunt. I understand. Of course. The family is important when you're… when you've formed… It's important to get your family involved when you've decided to start a relationship with… someone else.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” Peter apologized, even though it wasn't really his fault. Steve didn't need to know that, of course.

“No, no. It's okay. Let me know when you're free, Wade,” Wade nodded, still unsure. “Great, I'd love to train with you. I'll better go now.”

Steve left the apartment in a haste, waving one last time before the door closed, while Peter and Wade said goodbye from the table. Neither of them said a word after that, Peter still trying to process what had just happened. Finally, he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“You know now you're morally obligated to visit my aunt, don't you?”

“... Yeah.”

So that's where they were now, walking down the street that lead to Peter's aunt's house, each of them with bags of goods they intended to present as tributes to the old lady. Peter had tried to visit regularly, but in the four months he'd spent living with Wade, he'd only seen her twice; he owed her an apology. He just hoped the bags and the small chocolate cake Wade was also carrying —and had insisted on baking himself— were enough.

 

May’s house was still the same modest home in the middle of Forest Hills where Peter had grown up. The wood looked old and it was a little rotten in some places, and the fence and frames of the windows were in urgent need of some paint, but it was their home. Peter remembered when he was little, aunt May loved to tell the story of how uncle Ben had painted flowers on the door frame for her when they first moved to the house. Peter was fascinated to see the flowers had survived all those years, although slightly faded, and he allowed a fond smile to stretch his lips.

Wade was talking, Peter was aware of that, but he was occupied taking in everything around him. The entire neighborhood hadn't changed that much and that was one of the many reasons Peter loved coming back so much; living in Manhattan had its own benefits, but he always found joy in the apparent tranquility of his childhood memories. Even though it hadn't been that long since he had been there last time, it somehow felt different now that Wade was walking next to him.

He climbed the small stairs with Wade following behind, already looking forward to the long-awaited introduction and May’s promised homemade food. The door opened before he even attempted to knock and a very smiley, very flushed May threw her arms around Peter's neck to wrap him in a tight hug.

"Oh, Peter," she whispered into his ear. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Hey there, little lady. You look stunning!"

May freed herself from the hug and swatted at his arm, playfully. She looked behind Peter, and her smile grew wider. "You must be Wade," she said and Peter moved aside to let her shake Wade’s hand.

"The same, miss May," he took the offering hand and immediately cocked his head. "Can I call you miss May? Mrs. Parker? I should've called you Mrs. Parker, shouldn't I?"

"Just 'May' is fine, dear. Now come on in. The food is ready, come on."

Peter let May and Wade enter the house before him, so he was the last to see the new decoration on display. Or, more accurately, the old decoration making a comeback with absolutely no trace of Stark's technology anywhere in sight. Peter stopped dead in his tracks, running his eyes on the bare walls and taking note of all the missing gadgets as he heard May chatting with Wade in the distance; he felt a rush of sudden anxiety in the pit of his stomach. Tony wouldn't-

"Aunt May?" he called as calmly as he could, closing the door before approaching the other two. He was furious, how could Stark leave his aunt unprotected without telling him? They saw each other in the lab every day, it was really that hard to go “Pete, hand me those charts. Oh, by the way, your aunt is completely at the mercy of all the bad guys in New York because I decided to take my tech away, I'm sure you don't mind”?!

May looked up from the chocolate cake she was no doubt praising, and smiled innocently at her nephew. "Yes?"

"What happened to the security system? Where is it?"

Peter could sense Wade staring at him like he'd lost his mind, but he was too stressed to pay him much attention. "Oh, that", May shook her head vaguely and proceeded to take the cake into the small kitchen as she spoke over her shoulder. "I had it all removed," she confessed and Pete went completely pale.

"What? When?" Peter asked. Behind him, Wade made a disappointed sound and Peter turned to glare at him; seriously, not the time. "When did you take it off?" he repeated, addressing May as she re-entered the living room.

"A few weeks ago. If you cared to visit your aunt more often, you would've noticed," she said without real intent and handed Wade a glass of water, smiling brightly. "I hope you forgive my nephew, I could swear I raised him better," she joked, patting Peter's cheek affectionately.

"Can we speak in the kitchen?" Peter requested, trying to stay calm even when he was two seconds away from an actual panic attack. "Please?"

May cocked her head disapprovingly and both her and Peter glanced at Wade, who was tapping his fingers nervously on the surface of his now empty glass. Wade sensed their eyes on him and he turned to face them, lifting his hands defensively. "Go, do your thing. I don't mind."

"Okay, Peter. You win," May yield, walking into the kitchen; Peter mouthed a quick 'thank you' to Wade and followed her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked without preambles.

"Because I knew you wouldn't like it,” she said, taking plates out of the cupboard and passing them to Peter. “Seriously, darling, I'm fine. That time was a mere coincidence, I wasn't the only one to get kidnapped. I was in the wrong place and the wrong time, and,” she faced him, knowing full well Peter needed to see the reassurance in her eyes, “it was certainly not your fault.”

“But May-”

“Peter,” she took the plates from him and placed them on the small counter, then clasped their hands together. “I'll be fine. I made a decision and I'm willing to live with it. And you should too. To be honest, It was more suspicious to have Tony’s workmen dropping by every other week to check that every little... thing was working properly.”

“You asked him to do it, didn't you? You asked Tony to dismantle the system.”

“I did, yeah. He did it personally, he's such a lovely boy.”

"And he didn't tell me because..." Peter trailed off, connecting the dots.

"I told him not to, yes," she confirmed. "I made him promise he would let me handle this. He wasn't happy, that's true, but he knows better to contradict me and be at the receiving end of both our temperaments combined. So I thought it'd be our secret until you drop by.”

Okay, Peter could admit when he was wrong. He owed Tony an apology.

“Well, that's cheating,” he said, taking the plates and cutlery to set the table. “You know I can't stay mad at you.”

“I know, sweetie. And speaking of secrets, you did a fantastic job at keeping a big one from me, young man,” she scolded when he came back for the napkins and glasses.

“I did?” _Think, Peter. Think! What is she talking about?!_

“Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend? I can't believe Tony Stark had to be the one giving me the details about my own nephew’s love life!”

“What?!”

You know what? Forget what he said early: He was going to fucking murder Tony Stark.

“Okay, he didn't say ‘boyfriend’. He only mentioned you were dating someone from your team, but as soon as you called to tell me you and Wade were coming, I knew it was him.”

“May, no-” He tried to correct her, tell her Wade wasn't actually his boyfriend, but her aunt didn't give him a chance and rushed out of the kitchen to speak with Wade.

“Come sit down, dear,” she instructed Wade, pointing at the chair next to her on the dining table. “I've heard so much about you, but I'd like to finally speak face to face with Peter's boyfriend.”

Wade stopped on his tracks before he could reach the table and glanced at Peter. “Boyfriend?”

 _No, no! Peter, tell the truth. Tell her he's not-_ “Yeah, babe. Why keep it a secret, right? Aunt May, this is Wade. My… My boyfriend.”

_Shit._

 

***

 

“Oh my God, I just lied to my aunt. I lied to my aunt! Holy shit, I'm a terrible nephew, I lied to my aunt…” Peter kept saying, striding around the room with his hands holding his head.

Wade was leaning against the door of Peter's childhood room, waiting for the other man to calm down so he could speak. After the old lady had “find out” they were “dating”, she insisted they stayed the night in the house. She hadn't listened to them when they assured they didn't need to sleep together, and that it was fine if one of them stayed in the couch, so now they were in that tiny room with one tiny bed that in no way could accommodate them both. All to keep Peter's aunt happy.

Wade felt considerably more relaxed now that it was just the two of them, and actually appreciated those few seconds were he could get lost inside his head without someone expecting an answer or, like, words from him. He was somehow used to Peter's little quirks by now, but he had a lot to process after that day's incidents; meeting May Parker had been quite the experience, if he was honest.

In all the years he'd known Peter, Wade couldn't remember a single time he'd seen him acting the way he did around his aunt. He was loving and caring, smiling fondly at the old lady as he hug her at every giving chance, and didn't even try to restrain himself with Wade around. The merc didn't think he could like Peter more, but apparently he was mistaken.

Wade was still a little taken aback by Peter's ability to go from completely threatening like he'd been when they first entered the house, to Nephew Of The Year in a matter of seconds. It was both scaring and extremely hot, and even though Peter had never raised his voice, the contained fury had been a big turn on for Wade; for all the light humor and dorkiness Peter showed around, he could be pretty frightening. Wade had come to the conclusion that one should not mess up with Peter's aunt.

“Dude, you lied to her for years before she found out you're Spider-Man," he finally said when he figured Peter's rant had no end. "It's not that different, is it?"

“It is! It totally is! I lied about that to protect her, this… I'd never lie about something like this. I mean, I wasn't gonna! I came here with the sole purpose of introducing her to my friend, to my _roommate_ , why did Tony- ugh!” Spidey sat on the bed and took a deep breath.

"Then tell her the truth," the merc shrugged.

“No,” Peter shook his head and got back to his feet. "It's fine. We can do this, we've done it this long, right? It'll be fine."

Wade had also come to the conclusion that it was impossible to change Peter's mind once he'd made a decision.

"I have a few clothes here you can borrow," Peter bend to rummage inside the drawers of his closet and Wade tried really, really hard not to leer at that heavenly ass (He failed). "Here, these should fit."

Peter handed him a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants, and pointed to the bathroom where he could have some privacy. "Unless you want to get naked in front of me," he challenged over his shoulder before Wade closed the door.

"Oh, is that so, Spider-Boy? You can't handle all this sexy,"

 

Peter's clothes were... _ancient_ , and that was being generous.

The fabric was completely worn out and slightly faded, and the shirt had little holes in the hem of the waist, but that wasn't all. Once Wade put the shirt on, he discovered thumb-holes in the sleeves that had clearly been made by hand since they were completely frayed, and he wondered how much of an emo kid Peter really was in his teenage years: apparently an extremely skinny one, even more so than he looked in the pics miss May had showed him despite Peter's protests. Wade looked at his reflection on the mirror above the sink and felt bad for the seams stretching to their limits, but he felt even worse for the bits of skin and scars showing _everywhere._

Wade opened the door to the bathroom, pulling at the sleeves of the shirt Peter had lent him, and grimacing in disgust. It was too small for him and his hands and part of his arms were at full display, showing his scars. He frowned, rubbing the bit of exposed skin nervously; it wasn't that Peter hadn't seen his scars before —he’d done it plenty of times during patrol—, but that didn't make it any easier now. With the suit, and especially with his mask at hand, he felt shielded, he had Deadpool still standing between him and Peter, but ever since he'd moved in with the other man, that barrier was no longer available; Peter didn't comment on him wearing the mask around the other Avengers, but as soon as they were out of the door, he always asked him to take it off. And to make things worst, he was now standing in Peter's childhood bedroom, wearing Peter’s spare clothes, and most likely about to sleep in Peter’s tiny bed. This was just too much for one man and having his skin exposed in such way... Well, yeah. Not ideal.

He stopped himself from complaining aloud or making any kind of remark in fear of bringing unwanted attention to his arms; maybe if he didn't mention them, Peter wouldn't notice ( _Pffft_ ). As he walked into the bedroom, though, he lifted his eyes from his hands and saw Peter taking off his own shirt; now _that_ was a pretty hot view that totes needed all the attention.

Even with the spider-powers, Peter had kept what Wade would call an elegant and slender built from head to toe. That meant he was considerably muscle-y in comparison with his younger self, but it was still just kinda thin. Like a gymnast. Or a ballerina. That didn't meant Wade couldn't fully appreciate the back muscles that were now stretching as Peter struggled to loosen the knots in his shoulders; they were more than nice to look at, and after being hit with such a sexy display without any warning, Wade was proud of himself for not popping a boner right there. All that creepy staring also allowed Wade to see something he hadn't noticed before, or hadn't even bothered to think about: Peter's own scars.

They didn't cover all of Peter's skin like they did with Wade’s, but they were there undoubtedly: random stripes of light-colored skin on his upper arms, shoulders, and all the way down to the waistband of his pants. Most of them were thin and mostly faded (probably due to Peter's own healing abilities), but there were a few that stood out more than the others because of how big or _fresh_ they looked—they couldn't have been there for more than a day or two.

Wade lowered his eyes to his own hands again, to the messy patterns his scars and sores formed in his constantly-healing skin, and then back up to Peter.

It felt like a connection, something that  brought him closer to Peter. It was stupid, he knew—literally everybody scarred, and every scar had its own story, but Peter's… his were meaningful. He'd gotten them after saving people he didn't know and most of the time didn't show even a little bit of gratitude towards the superhero; Wade’s had been the result of some assholes playing God on him and failing immensely. How would've they looked like now if they'd taken different paths? Wade would be pretty much dead for sure, but Peter… He wasn't flawless like Wade used to think he was and seeing physical evidence of Peter's humanity was… it was actually very comforting.

“Hey, no staring!” Peter shrieked, covering his chest with his arms wrapped around himself and twisting his body to hide as much of his back as he could from Wade’s eyes.

“I… Uh…” Wade stammered, looking down at his feet. “Scars.”

 _Fuck_.

He waited until Peter put on a shirt to look up again. The young man had a weird expression on his face as he ran his eyes from Wade’s hand to his arms. “Too small, isn't it?” Peter said, remorseful. “I'm so sorry, man. Does that… hurt your skin or something? I don't- I don't know how that works. And I don't think I have anything that fits you better, you're so…”

“So what?” Wade prompted, feeling a smirk coming up. “So _big_? Do I look _huge_ wearing your clothes, baby boy?” he finished, wiggling his eyebrows. Peter blushed, but didn't break eye contact with the mercenary, he only sent him a warning look, tilting his head like a scolding father. “No lewd comments under your aunt's roof. Got it.”

“Okay. Now, since my original plan of sleeping on the couch downstairs is no longer possible, I'll take the floor. You sleep on the bed,” Peter instructed, taking a blanket and one of the pillows with a tired sigh.

“Uh, no. You take the bed,” Wade refuted.

“You're the guest.”

“But this is your house.”

“Not anymore, actually-”

“This was _your_ bed.”

“Yes, but I won't let you sleep on the floor.”

“And I won't let _you_ sleep on the floor, Webs. I'm a gentleman.”

“Oh, screw it. I'm too tired for this conversation,” Peter gave up, throwing the pillow back on the mattress and, just when Wade was about to celebrate his victory, he added: “We both take the bed.”

“That's not… what?”

“We're sharing the bed,” Peter repeated himself. “It looks tiny, but I'm sure we'll fit just fine. Come on, it was a long day.” He pointed to the left side of the bed and laid down on the right. He shifted until his back was to the wall and closed his eyes.

Wade hesitated for a second before dragging his feet to the side of the room, as he convinced himself that he could do it. It was okay, friends shared beds all the time, no biggie. It was practical, it was fair, and it didn't have to mean anything. He pulled at the sleeves of the shirt one more time and sat on the edge of the mattress, wondering what position to take that'd make things less awkward. Granted, there weren't too many alternatives.

He tried to lie on his back, but even with Peter practically fused with the wall, there wasn't too much room left for him. He'd have to lie on his side and that left only two options: either he faced Peter and, indisputably, gave the poor kid nightmares, or he turned around and acted as the little spoon. Not that Peter would want to _hold_ him, but, well, he'd read enough fanfictions to know where this was going.

"Wade?" Peter whispered next to him and the jolt almost made Wade fall of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you uncomfortable like that?"

Wade felt his cheeks turning red, but hopefully Peter's night vision wasn't as good as he always said it was. "What you mean? I'm perfectly fine like this," he lied.

"Isn't, like, a 70 percent of your back outside of the bed, though?"

It was. "No?"

The silence stretched between them as Wade calculated how many hours he could endure like that, with most of his body hanging from the tiny bed. It wasn't so bad, he thought, he'd survived things worse than leg cramps. He closed his eyes and right when he thought Peter had finally fallen asleep, the young man cleared his throat.

"Uh, Wade?"

"What's up, Petey? Changed your mind already?"

"No, I was... I was wondering if you... Would you feel better if I turn around?"

 _What?_ "What?" Peter's voice sounded unsure and Wade knew better not to push, but he couldn't help the absolute incredulity after such offering.

"If I turn to the wall," Peter clarified a little aggressively, "would you move your ass and get comfortable so we both can sleep?"

"Why, Spidey. I didn't know you were thinking about my ass. How naughty of you."

"Wilson," he warned.

"Okay, okay." He bit his lip. "That, uh, that'd be cool."

Wade got off the bed to give Peter enough room to rearrange himself into the new position. Wade wished all the fuss was because of them trying to fuck or something equally as sexy, but not; they'd spent almost half an hour trying to _sleep_. Once Peter got comfortable, he patted the mattress and Wade resumed his place, this time with his back towards Peter's.

It was infinitely better and Wade thought he could actually rest like that.

"Good night, merc."

"G'night, baby boy."

 

Wade woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of Peter's voice.

The younger man was mumbling something, but Wade’s brain was still too sleep to fully understand what he was saying. The words, although slurred and on the verge of being just gibberish, sounded suspiciously closer to Wade’s ear and he forced himself to wake up to understand what was happening. He, then, noticed two important things: one, he'd moved in his sleep and was now spooning Peter with his face practically buried in that incredibly soft hair; and two, there was something hard trapped between their bodies.

"Really?" Wade complained in a whisper, directing his anger at the erection that was undoubtedly tenting his sweatpants. "Are we seriously doing this?"

Peter was still talking and now that Wade was considerably more awake, the words began to make more sense. "Don't- is right there," Peter said, wriggling under Wade’s arm —that Peter had secured in a firm hold close to his chest— and accidentally rubbing his ass against the merc's crotch. "I didn't- do it," he protested before sighing deeply and falling into a series of unintelligible mumbles.

So that was why Wade had gotten hard so fast: the little shit had been rubbing on him all night! And whatever he was dreaming about, Wade was desperate to be part of, but when the two of them were awake. Until then, it was best he stopped this nonsense. He tried to free his arm from Peter's hand and scoot away as slowly as possible to get his dick out of range without disturbing the sleepy man. Peter wasn't having it, though.

He tightened his fingers around Wade with just a little bit amount of super strength that had him wincing in pain. "Don't. I want- you. I'll help," Peter muttered.

"Oh, fuck," Wade cursed. This was bad. This was so bad.

Peter waggled again and, this time when his body touched Wade’s front, he hummed with contentment. “Some- Yeah, more,” Peter added, thrusting his ass backwards against Wade’s hard cock.

"No, no, no. Oh, God, Pete." Peter stopped moving and only made a soft noise of acknowledgment. "Oh. Can you hear me, sweetheart?" he ventured, speaking softly. The younger man sighed again and Wade took that as a yes. "Baby, you're killing me right now. Could you maybe... not do it?"

He had no idea what he was doing and, for all he knew, Peter wasn't even dreaming about _him_ , but if using cheesy pet names was going to save him from that predicament, he was going to get all his extensive repertoire out. "Darling?" he called when Peter didn't let go of his hand. He wasn't moving or talking either, and Wade wondered if he'd fallen into a deeper sleep.

"It's- s'okay," Peter spoke again and his fingers went slack. "S'okay."

"Could you let go of my hand, baby boy?"

Peter complied, moving his arm under the pillow and falling back to sleep. Wade stared at the back of Peter's head for a minute, waiting for the other man to do or say something else, but he didn't make another sound apart from the soft snoring, so Wade interpreted it as the end of that bizarre episode. He thought about escaping to the bathroom and jack off to get rid of his boner, but he thought maybe that was rude with May in the other room. Before he could change his mind, though, he laid a soft kiss on Peter's temple and turned around again; it took him a while to go back to sleep.

 

The next morning his boner was gone along with Pete's memories of the dream he was having. Wade brought up the subject when they were getting ready to get back to the Tower and Peter thought about it for a second before shaking his head.

"Why," he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "Did I do something embarrassing?" he added with a nervous laugh.

"Nope, just curious. You're terrible in bed, Webs. I wasted my pretty lingerie on you,” he pouted, feigning hurt as he opened the door to the hallway.

“Come back here and I'll fix that,” Peter joked, but Wade stuck his tongue out and kept walking.

Peter snorted and shook his head before leaving the room behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was just one bed! Did any of you see that coming? I didn't! *wink, wink*
> 
> Also this sort of turned into The Proposal completely out of nowhere, I should stop watching Ryan Reynolds' rom-coms.


	6. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade is having a hard time controlling his boner after the night he and Peter shared a bed. It doesn’t help that Peter is acting more flirty. It also doesn’t help that someone decided to leave an unexpected message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, but I had no motivation at all to write this fic. Thank you so much for continuing reading this story despite the fact that it takes ages before another chapter comes up. You are the best.
> 
> Oh, btw, [my very first spideypool fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234548/chapters/30272895) has surpassed the 1000 kudos! I can feel the love ♡

Peter told May all the truth that same day during breakfast. Wade had underestimated how terrible Peter was when it came to lying to his aunt, but the poor lady hadn't even sat down at the table when Peter began spilling all the truth, from their plan to get that apartment almost five months ago, to the misunderstanding that had forced them to "date" in front of Tony’s eyes. He omitted a few key points, like the new team, the traitor working on mutant experimentation, and the fact that they were working with the Avengers in some superhero business, but he'd managed to twist the truth enough to make it seem like Tony really needed them both living in the Tower.

Wade was getting ready for the shouts, complaints, and disappointed words that were sure to follow, but May didn't seem too conflicted with the confession; she smiled, poured a glass of juice for Wade, and invited them to start eating.

"It's getting cold, eat," she ordered and went to grab the toasts from the counter.

"Uhm, May? Did you... hear what I said?" Peter questioned when he didn't get a reaction. 

"I did, yes. You two aren't really dating and it's all a scam. Would you like some jam on your toast?"

"And... aren't you mad?"

"Of course not, sweetie. Why would I be?"

There was something in the way the old lady was looking at them that made Wade think she knew something they didn't. He wondered if she'd known all along and was only waiting to see how far they were willing to go with the lie, or if there was something else, something Wade didn't even dare to speculate about for fear of getting his hopes way up where they had no business to be. Either way, she was only the first domino tile to fall in their big set of lies.

They weren't sure how exactly it had happened, but they found themselves confessing the truth to every single person in the tower in the upcoming weeks, either by accident (like with Clint, who had asked for all the details after Wade had slipped saying he hadn't had sex with anyone in years), or because they'd been put on the spotlight with quite invasive questions (like Crystal, Kate, Rogue and Kurt had done to Peter via intercom the day it was his turn to check on their progress): After May, came the Unity Squad; then, most of the Avengers. The news spread like wildfire and soon everyone in the superhero business knew they weren't actually dating.

Everyone except for Tony and Steve.

The true nature of Peter and Wade’s relationship was received with a vast variety of reactions, from those who were delighted to hear they were actually single, to those who seemed truly heartbroken that they weren't in love with each other. Peter, on his part, was worried some of them could ruin their plan by accidentally revealing everything they knew to the elder Avengers, but Wade didn't really give a fuck at the moment. He had other things in mind that were way more important that whatever catastrophe Peter thought was coming: Wade Winston Wilson was mega horny on main.

After the night he'd spent in the same bed with Peter, Wade had a perpetual boner he just couldn't get rid of, no matter how many times he jacked off. He'd tried to watch porn secluded in his room once or twice, always staring big, sturdy men that looked pretty similar to an old friend and time traveler he'd known years ago, but that didn't seem to do it for him anymore: As much as he wanted to concentrate on those guys and let his imagination loose with the help of a few artistically sculpted toys, his mind always diverted to certain superhero with a tight ass that just happened to live with him.

Wade knew it was disgusting, that he was certainly surpassing a bunch of friendship boundaries he wasn't supposed to, but he couldn't really help it. Honestly, he tried so hard not to think about Peter when he was taking care of stuff, but the problem was he couldn't forget how it felt to have Peter squirming in the bed with him and, worst of all, hearing him moaning as he rubbed against his dick. It was like being allowed a glance of Heaven and then get dragged down to Hell while screaming and begging for mercy. Yes, Wade really needed to get laid. 

And maybe it was his broken brain, but he could swear Peter was purposely flirting with him, knowing what he was doing to the mercenary. He made more sex jokes than ever before, and constantly attracted attention to his body during patrol with random comments like "I think a have sprain on my leg" or "The suit is chafing my crotch so much tonight"; it was the worst kind of torture, Wade was sure he would not be able to stand it for long.

They were suited up and waiting on the top of a building when Wade was finally close to the cure to his problem. It had been a slow night, just a couple of low-grade robberies and a creep following a lost teenager, but nothing more. Wade had let out some steam by punching the asshole in the guts while Spidey helped the girl, but as soon as he saw the Webhead coming back, he had to mentally picture Bob naked to stop Little Wade from standing to attention. Watching his friend doing squats on the edge of the rooftop wasn't helping at all; at that rate, he would have to think about Al pole dancing to control his boner.

"Do you see that?" Spidey spoke next to him, pointing at the building across from them. "That little flashing light?"

Wade moved his eyes from Peter's buttocks to see what he was seeing, and indeed there was a tiny red light flickering through a window of the building they were facing; he cocked his head, thinking. "A bomb?"

"I don't think so, my spidey-sense is detecting something, but it isn't going bananas as it would if that were a bomb," the Wall-crawler assured. "We'll have to go there and find out, I guess."

"Uhhhhhh, pull out the webs, baby!" Deadpool yelled, already making grabby hands to climb up Peter's back. Spidey used his webs to take them to the other building and then stuck to the window while Wade waited on the roof. Once the window was opened, he helped the mercenary down and they both got inside what seemed to be an abandoned office. "What in the-"

"Well, definitely not a bomb," Peter pointed out, standing in front of the light coming out of a mini spider-shaped robot somehow stuck to the wall.

"Isn't..." Wade trailed off, approaching Spidey and inspecting the robot. "Isn't that one of your Spider-Tracers?"

"It is." Peter took it off the wall to take a better look at it and something fell to the floor; Wade saw it and narrowed his eyes, but didn't pick it up. Instead, he refocused all his attention on Peter. "A broken one, that's why it's emitting that light, but-"

"But what?"

"The last time I saw it was at..." Spidey didn't finished the sentence and instead kept examining the artifact.

"That fell down when you took the spidey-bot," Wade mentioned and Peter picked up the folded paper laying on the floor. He read it in silence and didn't spoke to Wade for a while, just staring at the paper in his hand. "So? What is it?" Wade asked when the suspense stretched longer than it was necessary.

"It's a message-"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"- from Black Cat?"

A message from his fake-boyfriend’s ex-not-girlfriend? Well, that was an efficient way to kill a boner.

"I'm sorry, what?"

There was a downside of having serious conversations with Peter when they both were wearing their suits: Spider-Man's mask showed absolutely no expression. Like, at all. Wade used to love the excitement of not knowing exactly what Peter was feeling unless he told him; he adored the mystery that came with staring at those big lenses, completely unable to read the emotions in the brown eyes hidden behind them. He used to get a sick thrill out of it, but at that moment, he wished Peter had taken off his mask before reading the massage. Was he distressed? Excited? ... Hopeful, maybe? Stupid, sexy mask!

"Let's go home, merc," Spidey murmured and Wade knew it couldn't possibly be good.

He climbed up Peter's back again, ignoring his own anxiety as he chewed his lip worryingly, and exclaimed with fake cheerfulness: "Up, up and away, Webs!" 

 

The way back to the Tower was made in complete silence, which was new for them. Peter was clearly trying to process whatever Black Cat had written him in that message, and was moving on pure muscle memory. Wade tried to start conversation a couple of times, seeking to drown his own thoughts, but the younger man brushed him off every time; Deadpool gave up pretty quickly and accepted he had no way out of the upcoming self-flagellation that was no doubt going to accompany him during the whole trip.

"So, is it that bad?" Wade asked when they climbed through the window Stark had adapted for them to use as an additional entrance.

Peter took his mask off and squeezed it in his hands. "She wants to see me," he said, shrugging; Wade pretended he didn't notice he was avoiding his eyes. "Apparently she has something important to tell me."

"Ah. Good, good." Wade set his katanas down and walked into the kitchen, followed by the other man. "Uhm, question," he added casually, taking a bottle of water from the fridge. "Does she want to talk to you... or  _ Spider-Man _ ?"

"What?" Peter snorted, reaching behind Wade to grab a bottle for himself. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Any idea what she wants?" 

"It could be anything, really," Peter concluded, looking up at Deadpool's masked face. The merc hadn't noticed until then how close they were standing  to each other, but he did notice when Peter took a cautious step back. "But there's just one way to find out, isn't it?"

"You're actually thinking about going, aren't you?"

Peter blushed and looked down at his feet. After a few seconds of contemplation, he looked back up. "Maybe it is important."

"Pffft." Wade rolled his eyes, regretting momentarily that Peter couldn't see it through his mask, and turned around to go into his room.

Peter followed him again, taking long steps to keep up with him. "Sorry, did I miss something? Why is that so funny?"

"You're the genius, Pete. I just didn't know spiders could get caught in their own webs. Uhm, funny, you do learn something everyday."

Wade closed the door, drowning all the complaints coming from the younger man.

 

***

 

Wade wasn't home the next morning when Peter knocked on his door. He had every intention to talk to him about what had happened the previous night, but maybe it was for the better he didn't see him when he was still angry; he wasn't sure he could control his temper if Wade said something as... ridiculous as what he'd insinuated before slamming his door shut in Peter's face. He could throw tantrums to his heart's content and act as childish as he wanted: Peter had better things to think about at the moment.

He wasn't going to meet with Felicia until later that night, so he spent the rest of his day in the lab to distract himself. He worked cheerfully, smiling like a dork when the experiment he was doing failed, and humming the songs he was listening to with the earphones on. When it was time to leave the lab, Bruce commented on his good spirit, although he'd mistakenly attributed it to his friendship with Wade. Peter let it slip and went back home to get ready.

The note said Black Cat was going to wait for him on the rooftop they used to meet before they started hooking up. Wade always mocked him because Peter had been avoiding that area during patrol, but what he didn't understand was that Peter just knew that neighborhood didn't need him as much as the places they usually protected. Now that Felicia was back in the game, he could expand his coverage; he couldn't wait to shove his new progress in Wade’s face.

Suited up and ready to go, Peter walked out of his room with his mask in hand and approached the window. He was about to jump out when he saw a weird bulk on the sofa that wasn't there when he got home; that forced him to stop in his tracks, contemplating the situation. He hadn't heard Wade entering the apartment, but he was sure it couldn't be anyone else. He stretched his neck to take a better look and the bulk snored loudly. Peter hesitated for a second before pulling his foot back inside, directing his steps to the living room.

Wade was curled up on the sofa, sound asleep and snoring softly; Peter shook his head with a smile, leaving his mask on the floor and sitting on the coffee table to have a better look of his roommate. Wade was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans instead of his suit, but he had his mask on, pulled above his nose. It seemed it was a good day for his skin and Peter couldn't help but feel relieved; he knew Wade had been hurting badly these past days, even when he sworn it was nothing. It was nice to know he was feeling better.

Peter looked at the red and black mask with disdain, knowing fully well their argument had a lot to do with Wade’s insecurity. It had been months since the last time Wade wore the mask when there was only Peter around, and he was afraid that could mean a setback in their relationship. Maybe if he apologized… His eyes trailed down from Wade’s covered eyes to his mouth and he ran his tongue over his lips, unconsciously. No. He had nothing to apologize for. What he had to do was meeting with Felicia and he was already running late. He threw a last glance towards Wade’s sleeping form and went out the window.

 

Felicia was already waiting on the rooftop when Peter arrived.

He was nervous to the point of feeling nauseous, but he had more than ten years of experience in faking confidence when he was wearing the mask. Felicia, on the other hand, looked  _ fantastic _ . She was sitting at the edge of the rooftop, totally relaxed with one leg crossed neatly over the other, and white hair literally flowing in the wind; Peter had almost forgotten how incredibly attractive she was and he felt even more pathetic for showing up under the impression that she wanted him back. He dropped down on the roof next to her anyway, straightening his back and raising his head to seem taller. Wade would laugh so hard at him if he saw him right now.

“Hey, baby,” she greeted him without looking up from the street under her feet. “For a moment there I thought you'd stood me up.”

“Black Cat,” he replied, trying to sound indifferent. “What was that so urgent you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh, straight up to business, uh?” She turned her head to face him and Peter had to suppressed the dreamy sigh that threatened to escape his mouth after seeing those beautiful green eyes again. “Take a seat, at least. Although, to be honest, I don't mind that much the current view,” she added, staring pointedly at Peter's crotch.

Peter almost fell over the edge of how fast he sat. “No tricks, Black Cat. What do you want?”

“I'm not playing tricks. On the contrary, I'm wearing my heart on the sleeves here... Do you miss me, Peter?”

“What? No! Wha- what are you talking about?”

She scoot a little closer. “Because I've missed you. I don't know. It feels too lonely without you. Don't you miss all the fun we had?” she asked him, taking one of his hands between her own. “We were quite the pair, weren't we? In the streets  _ and  _ in the sheets. Now it’s like you've been avoiding me, baby. I haven't seen you around this neighborhood since we broke up.”

Broke up?! Was she serious right now? As far as Peter knew, they weren't even dating  — her words, not his. “I've been busy, that's all,” he answered, freeing his hand from her hold. “I'm working with The Avengers now.”

Felicia cocked her head. “The Avengers?” she questioned in disbelief, bringing her hand up to her chin. “I thought you didn't like working with the big guys. What happened with the whole solo act you so fervently defended?”

Peter shrugged. “I'm helping a friend.”

“Hmm, lucky them. They must mean so much to you.”

Peter cleared his throat to hide the sudden blush that had tinted his face. “I thought you wanted to talk about something other than my friends.”

“I do. There's something I need to tell you.”

 

Peter went on patrol alone that night. More than time to think what to do about Felicia's proposal, he needed a way out to all the pent up energy he had after receiving such news if he really wanted to sleep that day. Catching petty criminals and swinging through Manhattan's huge skyscrapers always helped him with that and tonight the city was being particularly generous with Peter. By two in the morning, after an intense car chase and a rescued kitten, he thought he was ready to go back home, relaxed and overall happy.

He climbed through the window and his gait faltered when he saw Wade sitting on the living room floor, playing video games. He considered going straight to his room, but there was no way his roommate hadn’t heard him coming in. He cleared his throat and approached the couch instead, taking his mask off in the process; Wade sent him a quick glance over his shoulder.

“Oh, hi there! Did you catch all the bad guys?”

“Have you been playing videogames all night?” Peter asked in return, ignoring Wade’s question. He was glad they were moving on from their previous argument, because then the following conversation would've been way harder to start if he first had to appease his friend. “Oh, bad guy on your right.”

“Die, you ugly bastard! Anyway, you won't believe this, Pete. I had a burst of inspiration while eating Oreos! I just knew I'll defeat the Big Boss tonight. Like, I  _ felt  _ it in every cancerous cell of my being. I couldn't let it pass, could I?” Peter didn't reply and instead watched him play in silence for a few minutes, all the time sporting a dopey grin on his face. Wade’s character got killed on the screen and while he waited for his next life to charge up, he spied Peter's face over his shoulder. “You seem happy tonight, Webs,” he said casually, bringing his attention back to the game. “Had any luck with a pretty lady?”

Peter snorted. “I did, actually. But not in the sense you're thinking.”

“You have no idea what I'm thinking!” Wade defended himself, violently pressing the buttons of his controller. After a tense moment in which Wade fought what it seemed like an army of hideous orcs, he added: “So, what happened?”

Peter was practically combusting with happiness. “She wants us to try dating again.”

“She?” he asked, pausing the game and turning to look at him.

“Felicia! She wants to date me! For real this time!”

“Oh… That's. That's good.” Wade looked disappointed and little bit sad for a second before he directed his eyes to the screen once more. Peter noticed, of course, but he knew it was because he was losing the game; Wade hated to lose when playing video games.

“I know! We're going on a date this Friday. A real date without the suits! You know what it means? It won't be ‘Spider-Man and Black Cat’, just us! Just ‘Peter and Felicia’. This couldn't be more perfect.”

“Good for you, man.”

“If everything goes well, I might move in with her again over the weekend, isn't that the awesomest thing ever?”

Something in Wade’s face made Peter think maybe it wasn't as great an idea as he previously thought it was. The other man looked completely astonished with his mouth hanging open and eyes frantically searching for something in Peter's face that he didn't seem to find. After a long pause, Wade dropped the controller between his folded legs and didn't even react when his character got killed again in an ambush he could've perfectly avoided. He closed his mouth and swallowed nervously.

“Move in…  _ with her _ ?”

What? Had Peter forgotten about something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm... sorry?


	7. Resolutions (NEW CHAPTER)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is excited about the possibility of dating Felicia again, but Wade doesn't seem to agree at all. Peter is determined to ignore the merc's complaints and do what's best for him: This time, he's going to get his happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the hits, kudos and comments, especially those that said they wanted to slap Peter in the face. Seriously, you’ve been so supportive I can barely belive it. The amount of people subscribed to this story is… holy shit, I’m so flattered.
> 
> I'm sorry for the long wait, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Peter couldn't remember the last time he went to an actual date. It was one of the downsides of getting superpowers at the age most of his classmates got girlfriends, and then having to fulfill the responsibilities those powers brought. He'd planned many dates over the years, with Mary Jane mostly, but something always happened and they ended up eating pizza in his apartment after midnight. He was surprised it was almost time to go see Felicia and nothing bad had happened yet; he decided to take it as a good sign that he was doing the right thing.

Granted, he was a little rusty on the subject so, to assure success, Peter had decided to not take any risks and ask Johnny some advice, now that he knew all the truth about him and Wade.

It'd been awkward at first, because when Peter talked to him, he had also confessed he'd actually been sleeping with Felicia and that the apartment he'd taken him to pick up his stuff was hers and not Wade's as he'd said before. Johnny had taken it camly —if only a little offended for having been excluded of all the gossip—, and they'd both agreed to never talk about it again. Now that Felicia had made a reappearance in his life, Johnny had been the first to know about it. Except for Wade, of course, but he preferred not to think about that right now.

Peter was looking around the apartment for his red beanie when Wade finally stepped out of his room. He went straight to the kitchen, grunting a “G’rning” when he walked next to Peter, and grabbed a slice of leftover pizza from the fridge. He'd been awfully quiet since their conversation the previous night, but Peter attributed it to the fact that he'd gone to sleep pretty late. That also explained why he hadn't left his bed all day or why he looked awful despite the fact that it was almost 5 in the afternoon.

“Have you seen my beanie? I can't find it anywhere,” Peter asked, just to break the silence.

“Nope,” Wade answered, looking him up and down. “Isn't a little too early to get ready for your date? Like, embarrassingly early?” he added between bites of pizza.

Peter rolled his eyes. “I'm not meeting Felicia now, Johnny is gonna pick me up in a second.”

“Oh, is he helping you to move out again?”

As if on cue, a knock on the door saved Peter from having to answer that. It wasn't that Peter was avoiding to talk about it, he knew they had to do it at some point, but Felicia hadn't really asked him to move in with her yet, and… well, Wade seemed genuinely bothered by the idea but refused to actually say what was so bad about it; they'd stayed up until four in the morning because Wade kept dodging any direct questions and Peter refused to bring back the issue, knowing full well there was no point in it. He shook his head lightly and opened the door.

“Hey, man. Ready to go?” Johnny greeted cheerfully, rubbing his hands together and producing a couple of little sparks around his fingers. His eyes landed somewhere above Peter's shoulder and his smile grew. “Wade, are you coming with us? My boy here’ll need all the help he can get before the big night!”

Wade snorted behind Peter. “Gotta pass, Torch. I think Petey is doing a wonderful job all by himself,” he added, sarcastically.

That was the last straw.

“Fine, Wilson!” Peter shouted, throwing his hands up in the air with exasperation before facing Wade. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Johnny sitting down awkwardly on the couch, trying his hardest to give them some privacy despite the fact that Peter was yelling at the top of his lungs. “You win. Why’s it so terrible that I want to be with her? I'm allowed to want things, you know? And right now I want to be with Felicia, what's so bad about that?”

Wade was wearing the mask again and Peter had to suppress the impulse to tear it off of him. He wanted to see his face during this argument, he wanted to see the mocking glint in his eyes and confirm that Wade was only messing with him, that he was just trying to ruin his fun because he couldn't stand that Peter did have a life that didn't revolve around the mercenary. Wade was his friend, he should be supporting him, not trying to sabotage him; Peter was determined not to let him change his mind.

Peter had sacrificed so much because of Spider-Man. He'd lost Gwen, he had to let MJ go, he almost lost aunt May... but this... this was something Spider-Man couldn't take away from him. Yeah, maybe Felicia was a little too much into Peter wearing the mask, but it was okay. It made him feel sexy and desirable, and that was something Spider-Man had given him. He wasn't going to deny it, he enjoyed being wanted like that; it was hard to say no to the thrills he felt every time Felicia looked at him like she was about to devour him. So he was going to do this, no matter what Wade said. He was going to be selfish for once in his life.

“Oh, so this is your dream, sweetcheeks?” Wade asked, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. “Dating a girl that only wants to be with you because you look hot in spandex?”

“What?”

“You know damn well she only likes you because of Spider-Man.”

“I am Spider-Man!” Peter yelled, striding towards Wade until there were only a few inches between them. Wade flinched slightly but recovered quickly, raising his neck and looking down at the superhero; Peter took a step back. “And don't come on now pretending you're somehow above her because you've lived with me for five months. As if you didn't get off on the fact that you're working with the Avengers.”

“I'm not the one that got tired of you and threw you away like a broken toy, dude. Or did you forget why we're in this mess to begin with?”

Peter froze up on the spot. “That's. That has nothing to do with this, we already fixed that. We talked about it, okay? And- and why do you care so much, anyway? I think I'm old enough to know what I'm doing.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you know what you're doing?” Wade stared at him for minutes that felt like years, and even Johnny looked at him, curiously waiting for his answer. Peter opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, unable to find the words. Wade snorted, disappointed, and turned around to walk towards his room. “Yeah, you got it, champ.”

.

“I don't understand what's his problem!” Peter complained two hours later, taking the last bite of his hamburger. “I thought he'd finally grown up, but he still acts like a child when things don't go his way,” he finished, crushing the can of soda in his hand with his full strength.

Johnny winced next to him, eyeing the can sympathetically, but didn't add anything else. They were eating on top of the Baxter Building, and although they'd meant to see each other to plan his date with Felicia, Peter had spent the whole time talking about Wade and angrily eating his meal while doing so. He was painfully aware that he was just wasting precious time, but he just couldn't help it. He was grateful for having Johnny here, who let him rant to his heart's content, only nodding every now and then to let him know he was still listening. Johnny popped a fry into his mouth and redirected his eyes at the horizon.

“No offense, Pete. But Deadpool has always been like that. Why does it bothers you so much now?”

“I don't know, he's been acting... weirder, if that's possible.” Peter took a moment in which Johnny only watched him patiently. Finally, he said: “Remember I told you Wade had met aunt May?”

“Yep and I still don't get why you took him there.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “May wanted to meet him.” Johnny cocked an eyebrow. “Fine. I wanted her to meet him. It seemed… important back then.”

“Okay… And Wade’s being weird about it because…?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… He’s always distracted during patrol,” Peter said, pulling a leg to his chest and resting his chin over his knee. “He’s been quieter than usual and when I try to start a conversation, he just stares at me, blankly,” he finished, thinking of all the times he tried to make a joke to which he knew Wade would normally react to, and getting utter silence in response. “And now his obsession with Felicia. Maybe he…”

Maybe Wade, like Felicia, had noticed just how ordinary Peter Parker really was. It hadn't  been his intention to impress Wade when he decided to take him to his childhood home, but it'd never occurred to him that he could be dissapointed of who Peter was.

“Maybe he's jealous.”

“Jealous?” Peter asked, stealing a fry from Johnny's bag, toying with the idea of Wade losing his mind because of jealousy. “Do you think he likes Felicia?”

Johnny closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Yes, Peter. Wade totally likes Felicia," he deadpanned.

“What?!” So Wade not only thought Peter was pathetic, he was also a childish jerk that apparently was after Peter's girl.

“I'm kidding!” Johnny clarified without even trying to hide his mocking laughter. “Probably he's just afraid of losing his job slash home when you move in with Felicia. Remember one of the reasons Stark didn't fire his ass is because you're dating. I mean, because he thinks you're dating.”

Peter hadn't thought about that. Would Tony really fire Wade if Peter moved out? “Well… It's not like I'm gonna tell him I'm dating someone else, right?” he concluded after a while. “Wade's doing pretty well recently, you said it yourself,” he insisted, smiling with satisfaction after Johnny nodded, “so maybe he'd still let him stay in the team. We're just gonna tell Tony we need more privacy and he will have no choice but to let us go. It's perfect!”

“If you say so. Do you wanna talk about your date now? Because you have, like, less than an hour to get ready,” Johnny informed him, looking down at his clock.

“You can tell me on our way back to the Tower, come on.”

.

Peter was a little early to the date so he decided to wait inside the bar. It wasn't very crowded despite the hour, but he wasn't paying attention to that. His eyes were on his phone where he'd began to type a text to Felicia, before he stopped himself from sending it. He didn't want to seem desperate; she wasn't supposed to be there yet, there was no reason to believe she was going to stood him up… right?

He scrolled down through his contacts, looking for a distraction as he waited, and thought about sending a text to Johnny. He'd been incredibly supportive and would probably have something nice to say to make Peter feel better, or a sharp joke to calm him down. But Peter didn't want that, he wanted someone to tell him to get out of there.

He hovered his finger over Wade's contact for a second. What if Wade was right and he was being incredibly stupid? Peter wasn't one to listen to advise, if he was completely honest. Not because he didn't appreciate well-intentioned input, but because, even when people worried about him, they just didn't know. And Wade, in particular, didn't know what was going on with Peter.

The thing was he couldn't get the merc out of his head and the words he'd said… He tapped his fingers on his phone, thinking of something he could write that would provoke Wade without making it too obvious that that was exactly what Peter wanted.

Suddenly, he felt his hair standing on end at the back of his head, and he saw a shadow move behind him; he tensed his shoulders, ready to attack if necessary. “Hey, there,” a female voice whispered in his ear. “You're early.”

Felicia, he thought, forcing his body to relax. “You are as well, in that case.” He said, jokingly, as he stood up to help Felicia with her chair.

“You’re such a gentleman. Mommy raised you well, didn’t she?” Peter narrowed his eyes, zoning out and barely listening to what Felicia was saying.

She didn’t know about Peter’s parents, or that he’d been raised by his aunt and uncle. It was something Peter never thought he should mention around her and now it seemed like a terrible time to talk about it, so he just let it pass. “She did,” he whispered fondly, thinking about aunt May always correcting him whenever he forgot his manners.

“You look good,” she praised, biting her bottom lip and running her eyes up and down Peter’ front.

And there it was again, that magnificent feeling inside his belly that made him want to jump over the table and kiss Felicia right then and there. “Oh, well.” He shook his head. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Not yet,” she replied, moving her chair closer and taking his hand. “We have so much to catch up on, so why don't we start with this…?” Felicia shortened the small distance between them and cupping Peter's cheek with her hand.

Peter watched her approaching him and smiling as she closed her eyes; Peter did the same, looking forward to the moment in which their lips would touch.

 

***

 

Wade waited until he heard Peter and Storm leaving the apartment to get out of his room and, after double checking he was indeed alone, he flopped down on the couch, leaning his head on the backrest and closing his eyes. He hadn't meant to yell but couldn't believe Peter was actually considering going back with Felicia.

It was true part of him was jealous —he never thought he had a real chance with the superhero, but after living together for that long… well, maybe he'd let his imagination go loose a little bit—, but more than that, he was genuinely worried about Peter; she was going to break his heart again and there was nothing Wade could do to stop her.

He knew well what it was like to be infatuated with Spider-Man because he'd been there. The superhero was everything Deadpool wanted to be and for almost seven years, he'd let himself believe that admiration he felt was actually love; it had taken him five months of sharing an apartment with his idol to know what it was like to really getting to know Peter Parker.

Peter was the asshole that drank orange juice straight from the bottle and then just put it back in the fridge. He was the dork whose glasses were always a little askew because he forgot to take them off before going to sleep, and the adorable little shit that silently checked Wade's skin every morning to know if he needed to remind him to use the special cream he'd gotten for him or not. Peter Parker was the 28 years old man that stressed at night because he thought he couldn't live up to what Spider-Man meant to the people of New York, but kept trying because that was what they needed of him.

And Wade was head over heels in love with Peter Parker.

Maybe Peter was right and Black Cat had really changed. Maybe it had taken her those same five months to figure out how special Peter truly was, to finally realize how much she missed him and was ready to settle down with him. Wade wasn't sure if that scenario was any less painful that the one where Peter came back to him heartbroken, but he did know if he had to choose between any of those, he preferred the one where Peter was happy, even if it meant Wade had to find another job and somewhere else to live. It was probably the only good thing he could do for Peter.

Tired of so much introspection, Wade put on some sweatpants on and a hoodie, and went down a few floors to the gym. He didn't like going there because he rarely found it empty since most of the Avengers used the place to train, but he needed to hide before Peter came back to get ready for his date and he wasn't in the mood to go out. He adjusted his mask a few times for good measure and pushed the door open.

As he'd anticipated, there were two other people already in there when he reached the mats at the center of the gym. Steve was kicking the ass of some faceless dummy while Tony typed numbers on one of his holoscreens, either testing Steve's strength or the dummy’s resistance, Wade wasn't sure but neither he cared. He wondered if he could go away unnoticed but knew right away there was no chance when Steve smiled at him over his shoulder. Wade grunted lowly and marched towards them.

“My, my! So convenient to see both of you here! Were you secretly making out before I got here? Can I join?!”

“You can,” Tony said without looking up.

“What?!”

“Steve needs someone to spar with.”

“Oh.”

Wade had been sparring with Steve at least once a week for a little over a month now. After that smooth escapade that had led to him meeting Peter's aunt, Wade could no longer find a fitting excuse to miss the training and had to do it. It wasn't all that bad; Cap appreciated whatever Wade had to offer and even had called him “a good soldier” once, although Wade refused to comment on Steve's technic when the Captain requested it.

“If you don't mind,” Steve said, prompting Wade to take position in front of him.

They started with something simple, basic moves to warm Wade up before they could go full force with something more complicated. Cap attacked first, forcing Wade to take a defensive stand, but it was enough with one hand strike to side of Wade’s neck that he didn’t even saw coming to have him falling face first on the mat. Cap stretched his hand to help him get up and they took positions once more.

It was after the fourth time Wade had fallen with the same basic move that Cap stopped and, instead of help him get up, sat down next to him on the floor. Stark was frowning when he approached them, standing close with his arms folded over his chest. “You're distracted,” Cap pointed out, watching Wade wiping the blood from his lip where he’d bitten himself when his face hit the mat.

Wade didn’t have the energy to make a joke about his situation, and that meant he could only be extremely rude with the super soldier if he was forced to talk. Cap seemed to understand and patted Wade’s arm lightly. “Is, uh, is there a problem with Peter?”

Well, the cat was out of the bag. Fuck it. “He wants to move out,” Wade mumbled.

Both Steve and Tony looked at him, processing what Wade had said, but there was something in their eyes that clearly said they were expecting something like this to happen. Wade wanted to feel offended they didn't believe their love could survive, but for him to argue that, Peter had to be in love with Wade to begin with; he dropped his eyes to the mat instead. “Jeez, was it that obvious?”

Cap at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “We knew it was going to be…”

“Imposible?” Stark offered.

“Difficult for you to make your relationship work. You’re just too different.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Wade lamented, standing up and dusting off his pants. “Sorry, Cap. That ugly dummy is a better option now.”

He dragged his feet towards the door, but he was barely two steps ahead when someone stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, slowly, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn't surprised at seeing Tony there instead of Steve, as he was expecting. “You won't have to go.”

“Say what?”

“Steve thinks you're not so useless, so… We're open to consider you in the team, even if Peter, like, ditches you or whatever.”

Wade cocked his head. “It almost sounded like there was a compliment somewhere under there. Please, stop, you're gonna make me cry.” Tony stared at him tiredly. “Uh, thanks. I… appreciate it.”

“Oh, and Wade?” Tony called before the other got too far. “Happy two year anniversary, I guess? I’m sorry it was like this.”

“Ha! Nice one, Stark,” he laughed. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to eat tons of chocolate ice-cream and watch Bridget Jones's Diary.” He gave the others thumbs-up and exited the gym.

.

After he left the gym and having nowhere else to go, Wade sat on the edge of the roof at the top of the Tower. Peter had once told him how soothing it was for him to see the city from up high, and Wade picked up the habit. He took his mask off, and sighed when he felt the cool wind on his face after weeks in which his skin hadn't breathed properly.

Wade was so focused on the fresh sensation that didn't even heard the steps approaching him from behind. “Hey, handsome. Is this seat taken?” someone said, and he flinched in surprise.

He peeked over his shoulder at the man standing closer and smiling apologetically. “... Peter.”

“Hey.” Peter mumbled, having his hand before sitting down next to Wade. He was really quiet and that distracted Wade from the fact that Peter had stole his mask from where Wade had store it “safely” next to him.

“What are you doing here?” Wade asked, before he could stop himself. It wasn’t a demand but an honest question; Wade had estimated that Peter wasn’t going to come back until midnight, if he came back at all.

“Well, I went home and you weren’t there,” Peter answered, as if it was obvious. “I went out to look for you and it occurred to me that you could be here so… here I am.”

Wade didn’t know what to say to that so he chose to say nothing. A couple of minutes passed in complete silence before he finally asked: “So... when are you moving out?”

“I’m not,” Peter said, without missing a beat. At Wade’s questioning look, he added “Felicia and I… we’re not getting back together.”

“Shit…” Heartbroken Pete, then? Okay, he could handle it. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t! “I’m sorry, man, but... It’s probably for the best?” he tried.

“Oh, I’m sure it is. It was my decision,” Peter confessed, smiling as he looked far into the horizon.

“Really?” Wade hadn’t mean to sound so incredulous but, well, _really_?

“You were right about Felicia. She likes Spider-Man more than she likes Peter Parker and I can’t be Spider-Man for her all the time. I was starting to feel paranoid she’d change her mind at any given moment. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I was… I didn’t want to. Thanks for trying, though. I needed… that.”

Wade stared at him for far too long, trying to understand what he meant by that. Not only Wade was right, Peter had apologized and thanked him for being a nosy asshole? Was he dreaming? “You know…” he said, after a while. “That spider guy has nothing on you, dude.”

“Really?” Peter asked, half laughing and half surprised. “How’s so?”

“Well, I’ve heard he’s kind of a jerk, you know?” Peter rolled his eyes, but didn’t deny it, which was good. They both were jerks, that was the root of their friendship. “Plus, I heard he’s been hanging out with that crazy ass Deadpool. That pretty much sums up how wrong he is up here,” he finished, tapping a knuckle on his head.

Peter turned to look at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I heard they were dating.” He cocked an eyebrow, as if he were waiting for Wade to react.

Wade swallowed. Was Peter flirting? He was, wasn’t he? What… What was he supposed to do?! “Well, that’s even worse,” he managed. “We’ve lost Spider-Man forever.”

Peter smiled, satisfied, and his eyes focused on Wade’s lips for a second. “I missed seeing your face, you dumbass.”

“Oops.” Wade licked his lips instinctively, but didn’t dared to make the first move, no matter how much he wanted. After a brief moment, Peter let out a breathy laugh and turned around, shaking his head; he was blushing slightly.

“Come on, Pete,” Wade instructed, feeling weirdly excited. “I’ve been craving cookies all day and I’m in desperate need of someone that snitches bits of cookie dough while I’m trying to create art with it.”

“Lucky you, I’m the perfect man for the job.”

As they walked into their apartment, Wade caught Tony watching them from where he stood at the end of the hall. He rolled his eyes, but was smiling; Wade smiled back.

Peter went inside, completely unaware of that quick exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Thoughts?


	8. Temp. Hiatus (UPDATE 4/24)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So! Real life is kicking my ass BIG. TIME.

##  **[2019-04-24]**

Hey, guys. I did upload a new chapter this time but it’s before this thing so, if you haven’t read it, go do it now!

.

.

.

Okay, now that you’re back, I have some news for you.

First of all, I hope you’d enjoyed the new chapter. I’m sorry it took me so long to update but, you know,  _life_. Sadly, I won’t be writing this fic in some time.

I’m gonna take a break from this pairing. Currently, I’m in one of those periods where I lose interest in Spideypool. It’s not that I don’t like the characters anymore, I love them too much to ever truly abandon them, but as the mod at ask-spiderpool once put it, outside factors are getting in the way of my excitement for this pairing.

I don’t know how long it’ll take. This fic turns one year old  **today**  (04/24) and I’m really happy about that, that's why I did everything in my power to update it on its birthday. Bad news is, it’s becoming increasingly harder for me to continuing writing. However, I’m not, in no way, done with this story; as I said, I’m only taking a break. Let’s pretend this is only a mid-season hiatus.

Thank you all for being so patient with me and for liking and following this fic. It’s been a tremendous joy to share it with you, you’re the most amazing readers out there.

If you want to keep track of my boring life and take a guess about when I’ll be back, you can find me on my [personal](http://anastasiapullingteeth.tumblr.com/) or [fanfic](http://anastasiawritingfics.tumblr.com/) blogs. I’d be happy to answer any message you want to send me!

Take care of yourselves while I’m not around, k? Hope to see you all soon! ♡

 

**[2019-02-07]**

I'm so, so incredibly sorry I haven't updated in forever but a lot of things are happening right now and I haven't got time to work on this fic. I just wanted to let you know I haven't abandoned the story and I plan to finish it someday. I know I always say this, but thank you so much for your patience. To every single one of the more than 300 subscribers: Seriously, you're the true heroes here.

Let's hope I find some stability soon, I really miss ruining the life of these two.

Well, see ya. Lots of love!

**Author's Note:**

> New story! Updates are going to be slow for now, guys. Sorry about that.


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